Survivor Ghost Island Episode 6 Recap!

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Ahoy, Pool Players! It’s another snowy Friday and time again for Survivor! Previously on Survivor, Malolo continued their losing streak and dumped James off the short bus. The next day, Michael knows that he needs a miracle in order to survive. He decides to go searching for the idol IN BROAD DAYLIGHT because that’s the kind of mood he’s in. Angela spots him, and Desi says that he’s paranoid, but, lo-and-behold, Michael finds the idol stuck beneath a tree. Folks, this isn’t just any idol, but the infamous “it’s just a f-ing stick” that got Eliza, Ozzy, and Jason all voted out of Survivor: Fans Versus Favorites. Turns out for ten years this idol has been living on Ghost Island, and has matured into a real immunity idol, just like a butterfly emerging from the cocoon! Michael is thrilled about finding the idol, despite the fact that he was IN SECOND GRADE when it first appeared.

Reward time! In this Reward Challenge the Survivors need to use a rope to hold up some blocks that spell, uh, REWARD. This is literally a repainted version of a challenge from last season, but I’ll take it! The reward winners get a plate full of kebabs, plus a grill to cook them on. Second place gets fewer kebabs, but kebabs nonetheless. Third place is kebab-less, and will be going home with nothing. This is a tight challenge early on, as both Naviti and Yanuya drop, giving Malolo an early lead… which they immediately lose. Naviti gains back their ground and wins, followed by Wendell’s fancy footwork to give Yanuya second place. If you’re keeping score at home, you’ll soon discover this leaves our friends at Malolo in dead last, yet again. The curse continues! Naviti also has to choose someone to go to Ghost Island, and they decide on Kellyn, since Ghost Island is still a mystery and she’s already been. Kellyn doesn’t want to go back to the spooky hotel, one vacancy, but she musters it up and heads off. Naviti and Yanuya collect their kebabs and Malolo, down to three, goes home with zip, zero, zilch, nada!

Spooky times! Kellyn has returned to Ghost Island, and Ghost Island has returned to the game! Yes, after a week-long absence, we are once again traveling to that most haunted isle, where the secrets of Survivor are buried in the graveyard of deceit and deception! Man, I’m starting to think we shouldn’t have booked a room at Casa Ghost Island. We could have been staying at the Ramada, but you said, “Just keep driving, we’ll find a place!” Well I’m pretty sure the place we found is haunted, and they don’t even have H-B-Oooooooo! At Ghost Island, Kellyn once again gets the chance to partake in a spooky game, and this time she takes the bait, saying, “you’ve gotta risk it for the biscuit.” This turn of phrase is not to be confused with the very adult film “Risqué for the Biscuit.” Kellyn’s chance pays off, as she is gifted with the vote steal advantage from Survivor: Game Changers. You remember the one that was on Michaela’s sit-out bench but she totally missed it, and then Officer Sarah found it and used it to vote Michaela out? Well it’s back but it’s no longer a steal, just an extra vote that Kellyn can use at a future Tribal Council. Kellyn says, “This might be the moment Kellyn goes from the sweet girl to being tough enough to win.” Speaking of being tough enough, over at Naviti, Donathan is congratulating himself, and his tribe, on their well-earned victory. In the middle of his moment he’s cut off by a very rude Bradley, who basically says, “OMG, let’s eat!” Bradley has no time for camaraderie! Domenick says that EVEN HE has noticed that Bradley is a bit of a grumpy Gus, acting argumentative and nasty for no reason. When Domenick thinks you may be too over-the-top it might be time to slow down and reconsider your life and choices. Over at Yanuya, Chris is psyched to have the kebabs and announces, to nobody in particular, that he, “Loves to eat!” What a surprise! Yanuya does have a sweet moment where they sing Happy Birthday to Wendell’s lady-friend, Nicole, back home. It’s nice that they chose the actual Happy Birthday song for Nicole and not, “For She’s a Jolly Good Fellow” or “Nicole Nicole, she’s the man, if she can’t do it” etc etc. Wendell says that it’s time to find an advantage, so he goes idol-hunting while the rest of his tribe luxuriates in a kebab-induced coma. Wendell has been noting points of interest on the island, particularly, “a tree that’s wrapped in another tree.” Yo, dawg, we heard you liked trees, so we put a tree inside a tree so you can tree while you tree! Indeed, the base of the tree contains a map to an idol, and Wendell finds it and digs it up. Idol count for the episode; 2! This is a full-blown immunity necklace, the very same one that Erik gave up during Fans Versus Favorites, a past season that’s really paying dividends tonight. This is a cool idol but it’s also ENORMOUS, which means that Wendell has to bury it again. He can’t just shove it in his pants like some stick!

Malolo! Is! Cursed! Desi says that she’s sick of losing, and it’s time to burn their banner to air out the bad juju. You know times are tough for Malolo when they need to resort to arson to feel anything. The banner goes up in flames and it’s time again for another Immunity Challenge. In this Immunity Challenge the Survivors need to swim out to get some rings, and then toss those rings onto a poll. Early on the most thrilling part of this challenge is how Dom leaps into the water, with all the grace of a sack of potatoes being hurtled through the air. After all the swimming, Wendell connects on his rings for Yanuya, and then it’s down to Naviti versus Malolo, just like old times! Michael comes through with the ring toss, and Malolo FINALLY has a victory. Malolo treats this as if they just won the Super Bowl, World Series, and Multimedia Celebrity Poker all at the same time. Congrats to Malolo for breaking the streak and reversing the curse. This just goes to prove that fire does solve all your problems!

A hungry shark in the water greets us at Naviti. Dom begins apologizing for the challenge before he is shushed by YOU GUESSED IT Bradley. Speaking of Bradley, his plan is to vote out Libby, since she’s one of the original Malolos. “Nice to meet ya, now see ya” Bradley says about Libby and also, fortuitously, his own time on Survivor. I hope you’re sitting down because CHELSEA gets HER OWN CONFESSIONAL where she is about as charming and engaged as you’d expect, saying that there are pros and cons to voting out either Libby or Bradley. Thankfully here’s Domenick to explain things more concisely, saying that Bradley is a real pain in the rear end, except he doesn’t say rear end or backside or rump or poop chute or caboose but an ACTUAL swear on this, the family hour! At Tribal Council it’s the broken record of the season, with Jeff asking if the original tribes will stay together or if things could ever be split up. Hang in there, Jeff, tonight might be your night! Even though Bradley talks a big game about unity, it turns out there’s trouble in the tribe, and that trouble starts with a capital B. As Tribal goes on, everyone slowly turns against Bradley, and he has to defend himself by saying that he’s just an argumentative person, and would argue with you about the color of the sky. Bradley doesn’t think about this as arguing, but “opening a dialogue,” presumably one where he tells you how you’re wrong and how he’s right. Bradley argues his way right up to the vote, where he is given the boot, to the extreme relief of all around him. “Oh wow. Damn. That’s crazy,” Bradley says on his way out, clearly in disbelief as to how ANYONE could have ever DISAGREED with him. Bradley is exactly the type of guy who overhears a conversation he disagrees with and butts in with a wild ACTUALLY when he really should learn just to keep his yap shut. Adios, Bradley. Don’t let the door hit your caboose on the way out!

Make sure you hop on over to the Leaderboards to see where you stand. The Pool Princess just opened the door and said “SLEDDING?” but she promises to take off her snowsuit long enough to send out the next pool points opportunity. Next time on Survivor: it’s the merge! It’s Dom versus Chris! It’s Dom versus the water! It’s Chris versus the pronunciation of “suave”! Who will emerge victorious? Tune in next week!

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Survivor Ghost Island Episode 5 Recap!

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Ahoy, Pool Players! It’s time to interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday with a new episode of Survivor! Previously on Survivor, Naviti was running the show, which means it’s high time for another tribe swap. Indeed, the Survivors gather together to join Jeff on Not A Real Challenge Beach where they learn they will once again be dropping their buffs and given new tribes. Before the swap, Jeff asks Michael and Jenna if this is the bright light at the end of the tunnel, so insert your own “fast approaching train” joke here. Even though Desiree is nervous, she says that fate has got her back in this swap and that, “fate is my homey.” This is the first time I can recall someone saying that fate is their homey, but maybe Desiree is really into Greek mythology? Each of the fifteen Survivors gets a random buff and when they’re unwrapped fans of “how math works” will be unsurprised to see that the two tribes are splitting into three tribes of five. In addition to orange Malolo and purple Naviti, we have a new green tribe with an unconventional name: Yanuya, pronounced like “You knew ye!” as in “We hardly knew ye!” or  “You knew ya won’t last long” or “You knew ya might have reconsidered before signing up for tightrope lessons on a windy day!” Tribe swaps are always a good chance to meet new people, since on the new Naviti, Donathan has never met Bradley or Chelsea. This gets me to thinking, have we met Chelsea? I think she’s an EMT? The new Yanuya has a confident Sebastian, who says that he doesn’t think his tribe is going to lose. I mean, as long as there’s still a tribe called Malolo in this game, your odds are pretty good.

Along with Sebastian, new Yanuya consists of Wendell, Laurel, Chris, and Jenna. Jenna is particularly glad to be here, since so much bad has happened to the original Malolo so SURELY nothing else can go wrong. Wendell and Sebastian get a chance to reconnect, and Wendell gives a special little smelly conch shell back to Sebastian. “I found it when it was alive!” Sebastian says, probably more proudly than that phrase should ever be said. Wendell says that he was tired of managing two huge egos at old Naviti with Dom and Chris, and now he only has one huge ego with Chris to worry about. This leads to an INCREDIBLY long segment that’s basically just dunking on Chris, as his arrogance pays dividends to the Survivor editors. It starts when Chris inserts himself into a conversation Sebastian and Laurel are having about volleyball saying that HEY DID YOU KNOW I PLAYED VOLLEYBALL, TOO? which turns out to mean he once won some sort of beach beer league tournament. Then he talks about how he’s an entrepreneur, not because he has a lot of businesses but because he’s, “investing in me.” Finally, there’s the big reveal to Laurel that Chris not only used to be a model, but still is a model. Chris treats this with such earth-shattering suspense you’d think he was about to reveal that he came from another planet. Chris has been hesitant to reveal his model status, saying that it may lead people to think he is “self-involved or dumb” immediately before he mis-pronounces the word “beneficiary.” Chris is likely the only person in the world who thought that Zoolander was a serious documentary.

New Malolo! It’s Desiree, Michael, Angela, James, and Kellyn. So, once again, it’s a tribe where the former Naviti outnumber the former Malolo. Poor Michael, he really seems doomed to be stuck with that same orange buff. There’s a recap of the Tribal Council where Morgan was voted off, and before you say WHO? what’s important is that Dom and Wendell incorrectly targeted Angela and tried to vote her out, instead. Angela says that she was “two shades of pissed off.” Thank goodness she did not reach that elusive third shade! Former Malolo James is reunited with former Malolo Michael, even though they were never really that close to begin with. With Kellyn and Desiree super close, James and Micheal think they may be able to sway Angela to their side in the extremely-likely event that Malolo goes to yet ANOTHER Tribal Council.

New Naviti! It’s Donathan, Bradley, Chelsea, Libby, and Dom. Bradley is pumped to be back at Naviti, saying that he’s been living in squalor, and that going from Malolo to Naviti is like going from a slum to a resort. Bradley treats this like it’s some sort of personal achievement, and not just a random buff draw. Meanwhile, Chelsea weeps while drinking a cup of coffee. It’s by far the most interesting she’s been on this show. While Dom is relieved to not continue sparring with Chris, he’s got a new target in Libby, who he calls a “devil in an angel’s body” since she wants to, uh, lie and be strategic in order to win, which is in NO WAY how Dom himself is playing the game. Dom and Bradley have a chat where Bradley seems to be able to convince Dom that they’re together, no mater what. “Maybe I am as fantastic at this game as I think I am,” Bradley says as my eyes roll so far back into my head I’m in danger of losing them forever.

Immunity Challenge! It’s time to toss out the old Immunity Idol and replace it with two new Immunity Idols. This challenge is the ol’ blindfold favorite, where one caller yells their lungs out trying to direct a bunch of unaware players towards puzzle pieces and away from conveniently placed hazards. This has never been an easy challenge and yet Survivor continues to find ways to make it even harder. This time we’ve got three tribes stumbling around, two players tied together, and then, AND THEN, they need to do the puzzle blindfolded with the same caller. Yikes. Malolo actually gets off to the best start, despite a hoarse-sounding Desiree as the designated yeller. Those of you watching for injuries will be pleased with Michael trips over a planter, Libby knocks her noggin on a beam, and Chelsea just straight-up walks into a pole. Don’t worry, Survivor treats these moments with exactly the respectful sound effects that you’d expect. Malolo ends up with a big lead, but then puts their fate in proven puzzle dis-as-stars Desiree and Kellyn, and trouble starts brewing. Even though Wendell forgot a bag of their puzzle pieces and needed to run back through the challenge by himself, he’s still able to direct Yanuya to their first victory. Not too far behind is Naviti, with Dom finally putting that big mouth to good use. Last and least? Bringing up the rear? The shame on the sand? Why, it’s our good friends at Malolo, who, despite leading the entire way and being made of 60% new people STILL manage to lose. This is now the fifth challenge loss in a row for Malolo. One may say they’ve reached a new Malolo… low.

Back at the beach, Desiree is so sorry for goofing the challenge. Even though Desiree says she feels like, “the biggest loser,” she’s still here to play the game. Turns out Kellyn and Desiree want to vote out James, since he could be a potential threat at the merge. James and Michael, meanwhile, think they need to get Desiree out now so they can actually start winning some challenges. You may have noticed that this leaves Angela as the potential swing vote. Angela tells us that she is no stranger to being alone, after she retired from the military, sent her daughter off to college, and got a divorce. Sounds like someone could use a pet, or, at the very least, a couple of houseplants! Angela doesn’t seem willing to commit to either side, leading Kellyn to question if she’s actually with them, despite the fact that she’s the obvious third wheel. “Is it still about orange and purple, or has it turned to brown?” Kellyn asks. Folks, I’m not a doctor, but when it turns to brown it might be time to flush. At an unnecessarily long Tribal Council, Jeff desperately tries to stir the pot, with the old “strength versus strategy” argument. It seems like everyone on Malolo just wants to make it to the merge, and I’m with them! Jeff asks each player if they make decisions based on their head or their heart, and they all answer one way or the other except for Kellyn, who goes on about how she makes decisions with her gut, since it’s the best combination of the head and the heart and it can also tell you when you’re craving a ham sandwich. It is time to vote and everyone, including Michael, turns on James, making him the sixth evictee. Adios to James, who seemed like a nice guy who never really found his way this season. James is the latest to be claimed by the Malolo curse, which has been more important and meaningful than anything that’s happened so far with Ghost Island. Speaking of which, Ghost Island? Where was it? Were the spirits too busy rearranging the knickknacks? Were they booked up with tourists? I sure hope Ghost Island hasn’t been shuttered for the Spring, I feel like there are so many spooky times left to be had!

Spring has sprung but make sure you take a minute to hop on over to the Leaderboards to see where you stand. The Pool Princess says she’s on a mission to put the “Easter” in “Nor’easter” but promises to stop long enough to send out the next challenge opportunity. Next time on Survivor promises both a “fire” at Malolo and “fury” at Naviti so things will probably turn out “stormy” for all. See you next week!

Survivor Ghost Island Episode 4 Recap!

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Ahoy, Pool Players! It’s another Wednesday and time again for Survivor! Previously on Survivor, Michael attempted to reverse the curse on James’s China idol by inventing a grand scheme at Tribal Council. It didn’t work, and his ally Brendan was voted out, turning the Malolo Four into the Malolo Three, or Malolololo into Malololo. Back from tribal, Bradley says he was sure he was toast! Luckily his Naviti tribe stuck to the plan and sent Brendan home. Bradley is worried because Michael has now shown up as a surprisingly crafty player, and not just a “fratty bro.” With his plan gone awry, Michael breaks the magician’s code and reveals to his tribe that it was just a regular idol, and he lied about the advantage. If Michael is lying about this, what else could he be lying about? Perhaps… the year he was born? It’s a season of deception, it’s a season of thrills, it’s… ok, it’s not a very exciting episode of Survivor.

Challenge time! In this Reward Challenge the Survivors need to pick up some sandbags off of a lever, pull the lever to drop more sandbags, and then toss those sandbags at a lil’ windmill to try and release three flags. The team that sandbags the hardest will win reward in the form of coffee and pastries, which everyone LOSES THEIR MINDS over. Seriously, you would think Jeff Probst was revealing letters from home or a new car, but, nah it’s just a jug of iced coffee and some day-olds from the Fiji Dunkin’ Donuts. Clearly this is a reward worth playing for, and soon the sandbags start flying like the tomatoes at my one-man show version of The Sound of Music. Turns out tall boy Chris is a ringer with the sandbags, as Jeff Probst gushes, “It is an amazing display of an arm!” Chris’s strong arm bids farewell to Malolo, and Naviti wins their third challenge in a row. Donathan starts chanting “CINNAMON ROLLS, CINNAMON ROLLS!” like it’s Christmas morning and he’s just been visited by the Pillsbury Dough Boy. Jeff Probst continues to admire Chris’s arm ability, and Chris reveals that, “I used to toss a rock.” Wait, what? Did Chris just admit to… selling drugs? No, no, turns out he used to be a pitcher in college, and now he just poses for pictures! [“Not a joke” – ed]. It’s time to send someone to Ghost Island and Naviti opts for rocks, giving Stephanie the ticket. Stephanie’s off to Ghost Island, Malolo goes home with nothing, and Naviti is about to navigate the wonderful world where coffee and frosting collide with their mostly-empty stomachs! Chris closes out the challenge by reciting a truly awful rap, where he says that it was, “Not pay-per-view, a free show!” and then rhymes “Free show” with “Free throw.” I’ve heard better rapping from the cartoon cat who danced with Paula Abdul. I’ve heard better rapping from the Dragnet movie. I can’t bring myself to listen to anything by CoinDaddy, the “white rapper who loves cryptocurrency” but I have to imagine that even he has bars on Chris. Keep it!

Oh no, are those gho-o-o-sts in our midst? It’s time for Stephanie to visit Ghost Island, which is spooky scary for her since she’s already on the bottom of her tribe. Stephanie says that everything can change in twenty-four hours, and that she needs a miracle to succeed. Everything seems to be heading towards the reveal of Ghost Island’s secret advantage… but then she breaks the urn and it’s no game, try again later. Bummer! Boo, urns! Stephanie says that Ghost Island will give her time to reflect, especially since she’s had a lot of big life changes recently, like leaving the Mormon church, getting divorced, and discovering the long-lost art of sand calligraphy. It’s all hats and horns over at Naviti where they’re celebrating their three-peat. James says it’s sure great for the Malolo four to have an ally in Chris, unaware that Donathan and Laurel have already gone and made an alliance with the other members of Naviti, Dom and Wendell. Whoops! During the coffee hijinks Donathan needs to take a moment, since all the coffee and pastries are reminding him of his… mother and grandmother? The coffee hits Donathan hard and he takes a moment with Laurel where he explains that the reward reminds him of home since his mother and grandmother also… drink coffee. Chris sees an opportunity here, and has a heart-to-heart with Donathan, where Chris reveals that he’s been caring for his own mother since he was fifteen. Donathan says that he feels closer with Chris and also, apparently, closer to referring to himself in the second-person, saying, “I need to start doing what’s right for Donathan!” If Donathan wants to rollerblade, Donathan rollerblades!

Challenge time! In this Immunity Challenge the Survivors need to run out to a boogie board, untie a bag, and then boogie back to shore with the help of the tribe pulling a giant crank. They do this three times, and then they unlock a combination and solve a slide puzzle. The answer to the puzzle is GHOST ISLAND so sit down if you were expecting it to be GNATS OLDISH or LIT SANDHOGS or A DONG’S HILTS. The boogie board provides the most excitement of all this episode, with Desiree being pulled underwater and your girl Chelsea actually falling off. “It’s a big setback on the boogie board!” Jeff exclaims, inadvertently writing the plot treatment for Teen Beach Movie 3. It looks like Naviti will hold a clear lead but then Malolo catches up at the puzzle. It’s not enough, though, and Naviti wins again, turning their three-peat into a four-peat. Quad-peat? Square-peat? IV-peat? Kellyn says she’s sad she let her tribe down, but then Jeff Probst reminds them that it should be an easy vote, with Naviti still outnumbering Malolo. Thanks for sucking the air out of that one, Jeff!

Back at the beach, Michael is ready to flip sides and vote for one of the other Malolos, as long as he is safe. Turns out there is some discussion to this, as all the former Malolo have their own pros and cons. For example, Sebastian wants to keep Jenna because she’s good at braiding hair. We know this because they take turns smelling each other’s hair. It’s about as exciting as it sounds. Meanwhile, Desiree wants Stephanie out since she’s strategic and actually playing the game. Plus, Stephanie may have found an advantage at Ghost Island. Meanwhile meanwhile, Bradley wants Michael out, since Michael is apparently not as dull as he looks. Michael and Bradley have a conversation where Michael pledges his loyalty. Michael will do whatever it takes to stay! Desiree goes through Stephanie’s bag and doesn’t find an idol. I don’t know, it could be hiding in her hair! In what amounts to one of the least-eventful Tribal Councils in decades it’s all glum for Malolo as Jeff goes around and around poking at which one will be voted out. It turns out to all be for show, as Stephanie receives the unanimous boot, which means there was even less drama than they let on. Adios, Stephanie. Hope the sand writes back!

Make sure you click on over to the Leaderboards to see where you stand. The Pool Princess is holding out hope that What’samatta U will win the big tournament, but she’ll put down her big foam finger long enough to send out the next pool points opportunity. Next time on Survivor: drop your buffs! It’s a whole new start! We’re hitting reboot on this season faster than I can rewind Chris’s rhymes! See you next week!

Survivor Ghost Island Episode 3 Recap!

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Ahoy, Pool Players! We’re in the March of Madness and it’s time again for Survivor! Previously on Survivor, the tribes swapped and Naviti was in control… or so they thought! With Chris away at Ghost Island, the Malolo four on the new Naviti stayed strong and joined together to vote out Morgan, to the shock of schemers Wendell and Domenick, who had wanted to get out Chris flunky Angela. Morgan was given the boot with the Legacy Advantage so she willed it to Domenick, thus marking the first time in the history of the Legacy Advantage that it’s been used by more than two people in a single season. It’s a second chance for the Legacy Advantage but Domenick and Wendell feel out of chances and on the outs with their new tribe. Malolo stuck together against them, and they voted for Angela, so, as Domenick says, “We made enemies with everybody!” That’s not a strategy that works in any game! Domenick and Wendell have a surprisingly upbeat heart-to-heart, where they agree that what happened was a dis-as-tuh, but, hey, it’s still early in the game and all they need is for a couple of the Malolos to flip. Dom strengthens his bond with Wendell by revealing the actual really-for-real-definitely-not-fake idol, to Wendell’s immense relief. The next morning, Domenick getsm good news as he is delivered the Legacy Advantage. Don’t let all these advantages weigh you down, Dom!

Reward Challenge time! It feels like it’s been ages since we’ve had one of these! This Reward Challenge takes place out on the Island of Bruises and Broken Bones, as the Survivors need to try and get a floaty ring to their pole while the other team tries everything in their power to take them down. All this barbarianism for… peanut butter and jelly sandwiches! And milk! You know that nothing goes better with a hot tropics day than a big glass of milk. This challenge is about as brutal as you’d expect, except it’s happening in the water so there’s at least an air of pool-time fun to it. Naviti takes a lead but then Malolo comes back, making it 2-1. Thanks to the combined power of (checks notes) Laurel and Libby (?) , Naviti makes one last lunge for their pole and secures a much-needed victory. They also get to send someone to Ghost Island NOW, and that player  will return before the next Immunity Challenge and will participate in both the challenge and Tribal Council. Mixing up the Ghost Island, eh? I’m for it! They decide to go to rocks, to the great dismay of Kellyn who says that it’s, “My greatest Survivor fear!” Greater than being voted out? Greater than a medical evacuation? Greater than being on a tribe with Debbie? With that remark in the can of course it’s Kellyn who ends up drawing the white rock, sending her off to Ghost Island. To her credit, Kellyn changes gears, and says, “A part of me is scared, but I feel like this is where I need to be,” which, oddly enough, is that same thing I say when making a post-midnight trip to Mighty Taco.

Spooky times! Kellyn is all alone on Ghost Island, and, as an extrovert, it’s her biggest fear! Man, being an extrovert must be exhausting. Kellyn breaks the urn and has the chance to participate in a game of chance. She can accept and potentially lose her vote at the next Tribal, or she can do nothing and spend her night arguing with the spirits. Kellyn says that it was a gut decision to not take the chance, the same way it was a gut decision to leave her marriage, go back to grad school, and join a traveling circus! Okay, one of those isn’t true, but good on Kellyn for starting her life over as a likely middle-of-the-pack finisher on Survivor!

Back at Naviti, Chris needs to find out the truth of what happened. Chris. Is. On. A. Mission! Chris is out to snuff Dom, and it’s the battle of the overly-confident dudes. They both know they need to get on the good side of Malolo, who aren’t sure where they want to go. Donathan and Laurel have a chat where they both realize that they far prefer Wendell over Chris, since Wendell is cool and Chris has the personality of an unripe piece of fruit. Laurel reminds us that she not only went to Yale, but she played Division 1 sports, too. One could say she’s not resting on her… oh, never mind. Laurel talks to Dom and tells him that she doesn’t want him or Wendell out, prompting Dom to tell her the truth THE REAL WHOLE TRUTH that he actually has the idol. At the same time, Wendell talks to Don, and we’re suddenly faced with the unlikely alliance of, here goes, Wendell, Dom, Donathan and Laurel. Huh! That’s not a foursome I would have predicted going into this season, but I’ll take it!

Immunity time! In this Immunity Challenge the Survivors need to retrieve a heavy crate from the DEPTHS OF THE SEA and before you can say “Davey Jones” they need to cart it up on the sand, unpack some basketballs and then toss those basketballs onto a small ledge just like the popular game of… ledge ball? I know this is the big March Madness week, but couldn’t they have gotten a regular basket? Ledge ball looks like a game invented by indoors kids who were trying to trick the bullies into something so hard they forgot about delivering a beat down. In any event, Naviti gets off to a slow start, unable to get their door open, and then messing up with putting their crate on the track. This leads Jeff to drop such gems as, “Naviti can’t get on track!” just savoring the metaphorical potential! But then Brendan and Sebastian kind of whiff it at ledge ball, and Naviti is able to improbably tie it up. It’s tense but Sebastian is too tired and Naviti wins Immunity, a win that they definitely deserved but almost certainly shouldn’t have won. Naviti celebrates this win with an old-school pileup. You know when teams are so excited that they all just pile on top of each other in a giant mound of flesh? The pile of Naviti is safe, and the new Malolo is going to Tribal Council. OG Naviti has the numbers so this should be an easy vote, right? Right? No potential drama here?

At Malolo, Bradley says that while it’s tough to lose, it’s actually fantastic since Naviti has the numbers. Bradley then likens himself to both Boston Rob and Kim Spradlin, saying that he’s got control and wants to vote people out. Slow down, Bradley! You’ve made it to Day 9, not Day 39! Malolo Steph is feeling the pressure, so she sits alone and writes HOPE in the sand. As long as the sand doesn’t start talking back, I think we’re OK. It’s time to hear from a fresh new face, Chelsea the EMT, who we haven’t heard from once this season. I’m pretty sure she’s gotten less screen time than Andrea and James, players from other seasons that we only saw in flashbacks! Chelsea reasons that Naviti can vote for one of Malolo’s stronger men, since they won’t be expecting it, and they probably don’t have an idol. Sebastian says that Brendan and Mike are like, “penguins on a tropical island” and I have no idea what he’s referring to unless it’s the 2007 DreamWorks animated film SURF’S UP. He then drops a real humdinger, saying, “Malolo can go low low, then they’re the Malolo-low.” Did I transcribe that correctly? I don’t know know! Don’t forget, Mike found the immunity idol, and he decides to let the rest of his tribe know. Mike shows the idol to Steph and Jenna, and Steph is instantly relieved. “I literally was just out here meditating for hope!” Steph exclaims. All of her sand writing worked! Mike says that he plans on just whipping out the idol midway through Tribal Council and try to move the vote to Bradley. At Tribal Council, it’s pretty clear there’s a five / four split. Bradley says that he’s been, “sensing irritation” all day, and he’s not talking about his drawers! Mike does decide to play his idol and then invents a story that it contains double immunity so two Malolos will be safe. Mike tries his hardest to sell this, but Naviti is unconvinced, and the five of them stay together, despite Mike trying to put the heat on Bradley. It’s time to vote and Mike plays his idol for Stephanie, who ends up getting no votes as Brendan is sent packing in the planned five-to-four. Adios to the Survivor dad. Turns out it was a no go for Malolo, even though they had the i-dol, you could say this result was so-so, since they’ll really need to pogo up the ranks if they want to last on this show show. What do you think is the favorite art period of Malolo? Is it Rococo? I’ll stop now.

There’s no stopping to the pool, so make sure to click on over to the ever-changing Leaderboards to see where you stand. The Pool Princess is wondering where the Tomb Raider finds all these tombs to raid, but she’ll stop Googling long enough to send out the next pool points opportunity. Next time on Survivor: the spirits revolt! The ghosts have the power! It’s the spookiest Tribal Council ever! Or something. We’ll see you next week!

Survivor Ghost Island Episode 2 Recap!

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Ahoy, Pool Players! We’re stumbling like lions into a brand new episode of Survivor! Previously on Survivor, Jacob was the first resident at Ghost Island where he found the Legacy Advantage and willed it to Morgan before he was “blind sided” at the second Tribal Council. Yes, the second Tribal Council! Someone else entirely was voted out in the first Tribal Council. Who? It’s not important! What is important is that Malolo kept James over Jacob, even though James whiffed it at the challenge. Back at the beach, Malolo consoles James by telling him, “not to hate himself.” In terms of inspirational sayings, “don’t hate yourself” doesn’t exactly inspire confidence! Malolo says that they’re done losing and this newfound optimism takes them to Day 7 to meet Jeff and Naviti. Jeff announces -to the surprise of no one- that Jacob was voted out, and then welcomes back Donathan from Ghost Island. Donathan does seem to be too cheery for someone returning from a place called Ghost Island, you kind of wish they would welcome him back with a spooky organ riff and maybe Jeff would hold a flashlight under his face and talk like the crypt keeper. Every haunted house needs ambiance! Eager to mix things up, Jeff asks the tribes how they’re doing a week into the game. Naviti seems pretty confident, but Libby says that Malolo is still growing into being the best tribe ever, sort of like how I’m still growing into being a professional quarterback. Lest you think we’re safe to rest, it’s time for a DROP YOUR BUFFS with a surprise tribe swap. Previously mute Angela is especially nervous about this, and I’m nervous because I don’t have a clue what an Angela is! Stephanie says she’s ready to ride the waves of this swap, and it turns out to be bumpy water for her former Malolo. After the buffs are revealed BOTH tribes are Navitis full of Malolos, with former Naviti members outnumbering former Malolo on both tribes 5-4. All the new people greet each other and then someone on Malolo says it’s time to, “open up new treasure boxes of love!” Treasure boxes of love? Who didn’t get the memo? This is supposed to be a spooky season! Trust me, Survivor: Love Island is a very different show!

New Malolo! Kellyn says that her new beach is a “hot mess” and likens it to when your friend says you have to see the baby, and then you see the baby and it’s an ugly baby. If Kellyn is lifting plot lines from one single specific Seinfeld episode, I sure hope her next metaphor isn’t about shrinkage! The very who-y Bradley is even less kind with his words, telling Brendan he thinks the Malolo camp is, “a s—hole.” Brendan says that Bradley needs to get it together, Survivor is tough, and sometimes you’re living in the hole! Things are rosier at the new Naviti, where the former Malolo members are getting the grand tour of them ahem, LIVING ROOM and DINING areas. This shelter has rooms! Sure the walls are made of trees, but they’re rooms! You could get lost on your way to the foyer! Chris and Dom both ended up on the new Naviti, which is bad news for all involved. Chris tells Angela that they need to be careful about Dom because Dom found the idol. That’s fine, you might say, as long as Chris doesn’t go and tell—-wait, what’s Chris doing? Yes, that’s Chris telling Malolo about Dom’s idol. Cat’s out of the bag on this one, folks! Libby files this information away for later, and tells us that she may play dumb, but she won’t be dumb. Libby will reveal herself to be either a strategic mastermind or, uh, Purple Kelly. Time will tell!

Bradley welcomes us back to Malolo by talking about what a dump it is and how things were so much better back in **checks notes** Los Angeles, California! Stephanie and Jenna are outnumbered, so they know they need to find an idol. This takes us to a probably-too-long sequence of Stephanie and Jenna searching in the trees, in the leaves, in the sand, in the surf, and even on the side of a hill (?!?) for the idol. Eventually Brendan and Michael join in and WOULDN’T YOU KNOW but Michael easily reaches in a trunk and finds the hidden Immunity idol. But this isn’t just any idol, it’s one of the ones that James was voted out with during Survivor: China. You may know this story, but it’s up to Survivor to tell it again complete with sepia-toned flashback. What’s with the hazy lens on these flashbacks? This only happened eleven years ago, not during the Wild West! In case you were wondering about the inevitable march of time, Michael says that China was the first season of Survivor he ever watched, when he was eight years old. Michael is younger than both Space Jam and Spice World! Over at Naviti there’s no idol madness, but we do get Morgan bonding with Libby. “Us Catholic girls gotta stick together!” Morgan says. It’s just like Billy Joel used to sing, “Catholic girls start much too late… at making alliances!”

Challenge time! In this combined Immunity and Reward challenge, the Survivors need to run across a slanted wall, dig up a ladder, untangle a rope, climb two steep inclines, and then solve a rather abstract puzzle. The winners will receive Immunity, in the form of Immunity, and a tarp, in the form of a tarp. Seriously, the tarp is appreciated, but is this the most no-frills reward ever? Was the pizza delivery late that day? Jeff Probst couldn’t sweeten the deal with some milk and cookies? You don’t get the tarp and, like, a piece of rope or something? Nah, man, you just get the tarp. This is a pretty close challenge, even though it takes Malolo a long time to, uh, figure out the ladder. It only works in one way! Still, Malolo cracks the puzzle long before Naviti and Malolo handily wins Immunity and the tarp. It’s time to send someone to Ghost Island, and we now learn that this must be a unanimous decision or else someone will be randomly chosen via rocks. Malolo can’t decide who to send, so Naviti picks rocks and it’s Chris who will be both immune and unable to vote since he’s spending a night with the spirits!

I hope you’re ready to get spooky because we’re headed back to Ghost Island! Chris smashes an urn but gets nothing in return, meaning this is the second trip in a row that hasn’t really gone anywhere. Good thing we have Chris with a case of the sniffles to keep us entertained. Chris says that he’s struggling to survive, and that he’s getting inspiration from his mom. After says that he doesn’t like to cry, Chris lets out a good cry and says that he’s letting go of negative energy. Up until now Chris has displayed about as much emotional range as a potted plant, so it’s nice to see him open up. Back at Naviti everyone is feeling the loss of Chris, who would have given the former Naviti a five-four advantage. Without Chris, Angela is struggling to gain ground. Angela is expecting a split vote, but Wendell has other plans, telling Dom that now might be the time to vote her out. This, folks, is where things get a little hazy. First, Dom goes to Malolo and tells them they can trust him since the idol he has is fake. He reveals the fake idol to them, complete with a new fake parchment that he stole from tree mail. Dom is so elaborate with this lie that it’s practically a one man show, and James, to his incredible credit, doesn’t buy it. James knows that Dom would lie to their faces, and convinces Libby that Dom probably has the actual idol. Libby isn’t sure if she wants to vote with her old tribe or stick with her new alliance member Morgan. At Tribal Council it’s clear there could be a four-four split if everyone voted along original tribe lines. Morgan makes a case that this might not necessarily happen, and there’s a big deal made of “Well what if we’re not telling the truth!” It comes down to Libby, as most important decisions usually do. Libby says that some level of lying is involved in Survivor, and that of course she’s told lies, “BUT NEVER TO ME, RIGHT?” says Morgan who then kids around with her saying how could Libby lie? Look at those pigtails! They can only tell the truth! It’s time to vote and the spirit of Chris is deeply felt as Wendell, Morgan, and Dom all vote for Angela, Angela votes for Libby, and everyone else votes out Morgan. Morgan goes home, 4-3-1. Goodbye to Morgan and deuces to the Catholic alliance. Sooner or later it comes down to fate! Morgan might as well have been the one. Only the good… leave Survivor in the third episode! Oh, and Morgan willed the Legacy Advantage to Dom so thank goodness he’s got something else to lie about!

Make sure you click on over to the Leaderboards before leaving this page. The Pool Princess has renamed breakfast “Toast Island” but she’ll stop slinging the jam long enough to send out the next pool points chances. Next time on Survivor: Just when it seems like all is lost, Stephanie is writing HOPE in the sand! There may be a chance for Malolo yet! Tune in and we’ll see you there,

Survivor Ghost Island Episode 1 Recap!

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Ahoy, Pool Players! It’s time to unlace your figure skates, take your skis back up to the attic and put away your curling… irons? That’s right, folks, the Olympics are over so before you pawn your Freestyle Bronze on eBay dust off the ol’ set for a whole new season of Survivor! That’s right, it’s a whole new cast combined with thirty-five seasons worth of old twists! Hey, remember all those twists and idols that went nowhere and did nothing? Well they’re all back in the form of GHOST ISLAND, the super-spoopy subtitle for this season. Jeff Probst promises that the “ghost of the past” will come back to haunt the “graveyard of bad decisions” and he’s not describing what my snack nest looks like at 2:00 AM! Ghost Island! I’ve got the shivers just thinking about it! Luckily we’ve got TWENTY new losers to keep track of, well, technically nineteen losers and one who will end up the sole Survivor. There’s a whole mess of show between now and then, so let’s get to it!

For the first time in what feels like a CENTURY the Survivors are separated into two tribes of ten and… that’s it. It’s not Heroes versus Hustlers versus Hairstylists. Nor is it Brains versus Brawn versus Beauticians versus Beasts. Thank goodness it’s not White Collar versus Blue Collar versus No Collar versus That Dog Has No Collar versus Seriously You Should Consider Registering Your Dog (or at least buying them a collar). Nope, just twenty randos, randomly sorted into the Malolo and Naviti tribes. What do Malolo and Naviti mean? It’s not important! What is important is that each tribe will quickly have to elect a leader. Malolo chooses Brendan and then Chris basically volunteers for Naviti. These leaders have to select two people to run one challenge, one physical person and one puzzle person. Brendan chooses Michael and Laurel, and Chris chooses Sebastian and Desiree. The rules of this challenge are convoluted, because this is the thirty-sixth season of this show and they darn well expect you to be able to keep up. Basically they all get rice and fishing gear, but the winners will also get shelter-making material and flint while the losers will lose their fishing gear unless they forfeit and then they’ll get the gear but the winners will also get a plate of eggs. Jeff Probst starts explaining all these rules and I feel like I’m about to pick the wrong door on Let’s Make a Deal. The challenge itself is actually pretty simple, but it tires out both Michael and Sebastian, who both look exhausted running through the sand. It’s not much better for Laurel and Desiree, neither of whom are good at the puzzle. Naviti Chris decides to forfeit to save the fishing gear. So Malolo wins and Naviti loses, but, really we’re all winners here. Jeff Probst asks Naviti if anyone thinks Chris made the wrong decision and WOULDN’T YOU KNOW Domenick raises his hand. “I like to speak my mind!” says Dom, and don’t worry, we’ll be hearing a lot from that mind tonight!

Hel-lo-lo, Malolo! Michael tells everyone that he’s 23, but he’s actually 18, and that’s probably the most interesting thing about him. Stephanie “Gonzales” Gonzales tells everyone she’s from Puerto Rico, and that’s probably the most interesting thing about her. Donathan is from a town in “Western Kentucky” where it sounds like they’re still waiting for the roads to be paved with real road. Over at Naviti we learn that Kellyn hit reset on her life by getting divorced and skipping town which means she’s either ready for a fresh start or she’s a secret grifter! Dom reveals that he’s a construction supervisor while he’s, uh, bossily supervising the construction of their shelter. Sebastian and Chris quickly bond over their shared love of… Florida’s geography? “We’re like best friends in a candy shop!” one of them says, mixing about seven different bon mots. Meanwhile, back at Malolo, Jacob has lost his shoes to the sea. No, really. The waves came and took his sneakers away. I wish I had something more witty to say about this, but I assure you there will be PLENTY of time to dunk on Jacob in the VERY near future. After announcing that his soles have departed, Jacob slips away from the rest of his tribe to hunt for an idol. Everyone sees him do it, and they all talk about what a bad idea that is. Back at the camp, Jacob concocts a scheme to get everyone to leave so he can search for an idol clue in the rice container… by pouring the rice out into his sock. Look, I don’t want to make any judgements about Jacob, so I’ll just say that I bet his socks smell terrific. When the old rice in the sock is all for nought, Jacob says “That was stupid” a phrase that should play on a constant loop in the space between his ears. Over at the Naviti tribe we learn that Wendell went to Harvard but now makes custom furniture. You could say he really wanted to chaise his dreams. I bet he won’t take this one lying down!

It’s challenge time! In this Immunity Challenge the Survivors need to transport six heavy puzzle pieces and then put together a cube puzzle. The first tribe to finish gets Immunity and also the chance to send someone on the losing tribe to Ghost Island. That person will not go to Tribal Council, so they’ll be immune, but they’ll also be separated from their tribe. Also, Ghost Island. Spoopy! Hey, do you like watching people struggle to pull really heavy objects? Then you’re going to love this challenge, which looks especially exhausting. Naviti maintains a good lead and figures out the puzzle quickly, recovering from their first loss and sending Malolo to Tribal Council. After the challenge, Jacob says that he’s not worried since Malolo is one of the best tribes of all time. OF ALL TIME. Yes, folks, they’re better than DANGRAYNE. Unsurprisingly, Naviti decides to send Jacob to Ghost Island, probably to give him immunity and also probably to give the rest of Malolo a break.

Ghost Island time! We’ve heard so much about it and it’s finally here! Turns out Ghost Island is quite the production, with a spooky staircase leading to a spooky shelter leading to a spooky game of chance. Jacob first needs to smash an urn, and then learns he has the opportunity to get an advantage. Jacob can either choose to try for the advantage and get it, or lose his vote at the next Tribal Council if he doesn’t get it. Since it’s a fifty-fifty chance, Jacob does the sensible thing and takes it which gives him.. wait for it… the famed LEGACY ADVANTAGE from SURVIVOR: GAME CHANGERS. Really starting the show with a showstopper on that one, guys! Come on, you remember the Legacy Advantage! We’re reminded in spooky flashback that Sierra found it on the first day, it never went anywhere, and then she told Sara about it and Sara voted her out. Now it belongs to Jacob but he can’t actually use it, he has to RESTORE THE POWER by giving it to someone on the other tribe. He decides to give it to Morgan, which was a shocker to me since I don’t remember there being a Morgan this season. So all the hype and mystery surrounding Ghost Island and… that’s where it leads. Spoopy!

Back at camp, Gonzales announces that she had the right strategy for the puzzle, but nobody would listen. Donathan tells us that he had the right strategy, but Gonzales told him to shut it. Donathan starts to campaign to vote Gonzales out, and tries to convince Steph that she should go. Steph and some of the other tribe-mates debate the merits of Donathan and Gonzales, and Steph reasons that they’re both pretty bad in challenges, but at least Gonzales can get stuck in small spaces. I don’t know, either! It’s time for our first-ever Tribal Council where once again fire represents your life and also the lives of all the ghoooooooosts! This is a pretty standard first episode tribal, where the merits of strength versus puzzles are debated. Apparently there haven’t been that many actual alliances formed, but that doesn’t stop Gonzales from hopping up and whispering to everyone to vote Donathan out. Donathan, to his extreme credit, doesn’t get involved with this, and when it’s finally time to vote your girl Gonzales is unceremoniously given the boot. Take your whispering somewhere else! The only spirits allowed to whisper on this season are the actual spirits! Adios to Gonzales, who at least had the decency to call herself Gonzales so we didn’t have to keep writing down “Stephanie G” and “Stephanie J.” Only one Stephanie remains!

It’s bad news for fans of Mark Harmon and good news for fans of Survivor since there’s not one but TWO hours of show this week. See you next week, NCIS! It’s time for us to join the Naviti tribe in the middle of the night where Dom is creepily watching his tribe sleep. Somehow that’s the scariest thing that’s happened so far this season! Dom says that he can’t sleep and he’s got the shakes, so he decides to look for the idol under the cover of night. This basically involves waving a machete at some trees and right when you’re ready to call him crazy for even trying he ACTUALLY finds an idol hidden inside a tree. The next day he discovers that it’s Andrea’s idol from Survivor: Fans Versus Favorites that she found but did not play, resulting in her getting voted out. Surely you remember that one! All the hits! It’s up to Dom to reverse the curse, and he happily pockets the idol. Speaking of reversing curses, Morgan discovers the legacy advantage in her bag, and that’s about all there is to say about that! Back on Ghost Island, Jacob decides to make a fake idol so he can show his tribe and tell them it’s a real idol. It’s not exactly a lie, since he’s going to tell them about the perilous path and the upsetting urns, but it’s also totally a lie because he didn’t find an idol and made the darn thing out of some string and a shell.

Malolo is enjoying some sea slugs when Jacob slimes back from Ghost Island, fake idol in pants. He says that it was super scary at Ghost Island, but that he managed to find a hidden idol. He shows them the idol, which is INSANE, and says that he didn’t want to do it, but he wanted to be upfront with everyone. On a season that is literally about the dumb mistakes of Survivors past, this is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen on this show. Nobody on Malolo believes him, and they immediately request receipts, asking to see the paperwork that came with the idol. Jacob says he must have lost it, which would be an unbelievable story, except that this is a man who just yesterday lost his own shoes to the sea. Anything is possible! Speaking of bad idol play, Dom decides to try and make good with Chris, and says that he wants to work with him. Chris asks Dom if he found the idol, and Dom says he did not. This is a lie, and Dom spooks himself, so he decides to make a fake idol to show Chris. Yes, Dom decides to make a fake idol after lying about finding the real idol. Luckily Dom still has the paperwork but Chris senses that something is off, and he’s not wrong!

Immunity time! In this Immunity Challenge the Survivors need to swim to a big slide, dive down and unlock some balls, and then toss those balls into a hoop. I feel like we’ve seen this exact challenge about twenty different times on this show, so if I just said “swim balls slide” you’d probably get the right idea. It’s pretty close at the jump, but then Naviti pulls into a huge lead when James is, uh, unable to dive down to retrieve the balls. Like, he just can’t do it. The rest of the tribe encourages Donathan to try it, and he says no, and then Jeff Probst SENSING A MOMENT runs over there and basically yells at Donathan until he gets in the water. Donathan dives down and gets it, of course, and thank goodness we’ve got another hero narrative this season. It’s all for nothing, though, since Wendell and Desiree successfully sink buckets and Naviti wins again. After a brief conference they decide to send Donathan to Ghost Island, probably because they just found out his name.

Ghost Island! Donathan walks up the spooky steps and smashes the upsetting urn but he gets nothing in return, with only a “try again later” message. So there’s nothing special for Donathan but at least he got to have a moment, and says that he’s becoming a real “mountain man.” Back at Malolo, James admits that he done goofed, and says that he’s to blame for losing the challenge. No, Sue’s to Blane! Everyone accepts his apology since it’s no secret they want Jacob gone instead. Steph decides to get buddy buddy with Jacob, basically talking strategy by fake flirting with him to try and put him at ease. Jacob floats the idea of getting out one of the stronger guys, like Michael, and then reveals to Steph that his idol was fake, he actually gave away the Legacy Advantage, and it’s all a sham and a lie, a lie and a sham. Steph can’t believe it, but of course she can believe it, and she admits that underneath it all, Jacob does make a good point. She takes this idea to Laurel, who says that it might be time to upset the “Strong and the Beautiful.” You know The Strong and the Beautiful, it comes on CBS in the afternoon, right before the “Young and the Fidgety” and “As the Globe Rotates” and “Shining Beacon.” They really try to make a scene of this at Tribal Council, with James once again taking the blame (“No, Sue’s to Blane!”) and Jacob lying about Ghost Island. Nobody believes him, though, because nobody ever believed him, and Jacob is pretty much unanimously given the boot, fake idol in tow. Goodbye to Jacob, a poor Survivor player who looked like what would have happened if Bob Ross had partied too hard in his youth. Pick up a pair of new shoes on your way out!

We’re almost on our way out of this recap, but first make sure to click on over to the Leaderboards to see where you stand. The Pool Princess has started referring to herself as the “Ghost-ess with the Most-ess” but she promises to stop long enough to send out the next Pool challenges. Next time on Survivor: it’s a tribe swap! Already! I barely even know what an ANGELA is yet! Also more shenanigans at Ghost Island, where some really spooky stuff has been happening, Scoob! Time to gas up the Mystery Machine and we’ll see you next week!

 

Heroes vs. Hustlers vs. Healers finale update!

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Going Out Order

Ahoy, Pool Players! It’s hard to believe but after thirteen long weeks we’ve finally reached the end of our Survivor journey. Congratulations to Hero Ben who outwitted, outplayed, outlasted, and out-idol-ed everyone else in the game. Ben was able to best Chrissy’s impressive immunity run, Ryan’s questionable social game, Devon’s inability to make a fire and Dr. Mike’s bad jokes. Dr. Mike! Even at the reunion he was just happy to be there. I don’t know if this was a good season of Survivor, but it was at least interesting, and will give us a lot to chew on in the coming months. Speaking of lots of chewing, how odd was it that Cole (of all people!) was so chatty during the final Tribal Council? I barely remembered he was there! I’m not sure Cole remembers he was there! JP definitely doesn’t remember he was there! So congratulations to Ben, who managed to stay afloat against all odds, including a stunner of a Final Four twist. I would suggest that we try to have a fire-making challenge at the Family Tree Restaurant, but something tells me that would end with our photos on the wall under DO NOT SERVE TO THIS GROUP.

Speaking of come from behind victories, it’s time to hand out the awards in our Pool. Drum roll, please, the big Pool Champion is BETH who rallied to the top thanks to her pre-season pick of Ben as sole Survivor. Congratulations, Beth! In second place was Ashlee, who was only three points behind Beth. So close! Way to go, Ashlee. Rounding out the top three was Julie, who stuck close to the top all season long. Hats off to our top three! But wait, there’s more!

The top Quick Pick player was newcomer Sharon, who had an incredible run all the way until the final episode. Team Terkel ended up in the middle of the pack and gets our Thanks For Playing award. The super secret non-monetary prize goes to Aiden. What could it be? It’s a secret! Unlike Ghost Island, all our secrets will be revealed at the pool luncheon, coming this January. Put your thinking caps on and get ready to talk about all things Survivor, the pool, and what you’d like to see us do! We love watching Survivor, and we love running the pool because of all of you! Next time on Survivor: the mistakes of the past are back to haunt a whole new crop of players. It’s Survivor: Ghost Island! Spooky! Scary! I hope there aren’t any haunted dolls! Those things give me the heebie-jeebies! Here’s to hoping there are more tricks than treats and we will see you there! Adios!