Heroes vs. Hustlers vs. Healers episode 2 recap!

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Pool Players Total Points

Going Out Order

Survivors Weekly Points & Pool Players Weekly Points & Pool Tribes Points

Ahoy, Pool Players! It’s a windy Wednesday and time again for Survivor! Previously on Survivor we asked ourselves who the heck are these people? Quick, name the Healers! Did you only get to four? I bet you forgot Roark! Also, Olympian Katrina was voted out after Financial Analyst Chrissy didn’t use the super idol that Bellhop Ryan gave to her. Don’t worry about all these names because it’s not important! ALSO, Alan caused a scene by implying that JP and Ashley were a super couple in control of the idol. That’s only half true, but it’s true enough for Alan to be proud of it! We return back to the Heroes beach, where nary a tear is shed for the booted Katrina. Chrissy tells us that her own position in the game is totally flipped, and now she has a useless Idol that can be used as a decoy. Alan says that Tribal was intense but that he achieved his mission of creating suspicion. Unfortunately, he seems to have just annoyed Ashley and JP who are TOTALLY NOT A POWER DUO so don’t even question it! Ben says that this tribe is, “like old paint” WAIT DO GO ON “because it’s cracked and fractured.” Ben really needed to dig down into the big old bag of similes for that charmer, eh? Look, I’m not saying Ben doesn’t know a thing or two about old paint, but maybe work on your analogies before you start playing the game.

Hustlers beach, Hustlers beach! Simone bats away some bugs while Ryan yammers on about “The Hustler Mantra,” which apparently does not involve listening to Rick Ross’s “Everyday I’m Hustling” on repeat. Ryan does inform us that he thinks Simone is weird, which, if Ryan thinks you’re weird it might be time for a good long look in the elevator mirror. Simone tries to fit in by taking a “aqua dump” and then reporting back to her tribe about it. Between you and me I think the show really missed a hashtag opportunity by not throwing up “#AQUADUMP.” The concept of the Aqua Dump is really ingenious because it’s something that you only see on Survivor, or at a pool party gone wrong. For her part, Simone tells us that she’s not used to, uh, being outdoors, and cries, “It’s hot all the time and there’s no air conditioning!” No air conditioning? What is this, a movie theater? On the other hand, as the #AQUADUMP proved, Simone is up to a challenge, and proves it by gutting a fish. Simone says that she knows she can be good at Survivor because she has ten brothers and sisters. I’m sure you’ve met them, there’s Simone, Simtwo, Simthree, The Sims 4, The Sims: Hot DateThe Sims 2: PetsThe Sims: IKEA Home Stuff PackSim City, Sim City 2000 and Sim Ant. Meanwhile, the pan flute of healing welcomes us to the Healers beach where Jessica is trying to catch a fish really really hard. She’s trying so hard! Alas it turns out to be “the worst game of cat and mouse” which doesn’t even make sense because you’re a human trying to catch a fish. Those are completely different animals! Jessica and Cole bond on the raft of romance while I try to think up a good name for them. Jole? Colesica? Cole slaw? Back at the beach we learn that Desi was Miss Virginia twice, once for Miss America and once for Miss U.S.A. What do you think her talent was? I hope it involved puppets! Mike and Joe goof that they should be on the beauty tribe, even though Joe tells Mike, hilariously, “you is one ugly dude!” All this fun at camp is seriously taking up time Joe could be looking for the idol, so he decides to sneak away while everyone is off and lo and behold he finds a clue. Interestingly, this clue is etched into the trunk of a tree, right underneath “ROB + AMBR 4EVER” and “RUSSELL STINKZ.” Joe thinks that the clue has to do with the raft, since it’s in the shape of a raft. Joe decides to tell Cole about the clue since Cole has spent the whole day on the raft, getting tan and hanging with Jessica, bro. Cole tells him that the clue is actually referring to the well, since they share the same symbol. Honestly this seems pretty obvious but Joe owns up to the fact that he probably wouldn’t have figured that out on his own. Cole and Joe dig by the well and get your Idol count ready because here’s one for Joe. I’m pretty sure every time a bald guy finds an idol on Survivor Tony gets another pair of wings.

Back from the break we get a very heroic JP taking care of business by catching a fish or something. JP tells us that he’s not super into drama and he’s not much for strategy, (“Then why are you here???”), but that he can play the game when he needs to. He decides to align, apparently, with Chrissy, who is looking for a new alliance. Chrissy exclaims that nobody would see the two of them working together, unless, that is, they’ve seen the second season of Survivor. Chrissy is actually making alliances with everybody and is playing them all, except for Ben, who she thinks is legit. A little folkiness and some old paint goes a long way! Over at the Hustlers, Devon is waking up with some mindful yoga while Patrick is doing some mindless yelling. Turns out that Patrick is actually a major doofus on pretty much all fronts. He picks up a crab and screams, not because he’s been injured but because he’s afraid of crabs. He’s also generally loud and annoying and seems to have difficulty controlling the VOLUME OF HIS VOICE. He’s described as a “Wild Banshee” which leads to the helpful hashtag, “#WILDBANSHEE” which is too cool of a phrase to be wasted on a dolt like Patrick. The Wild Banshee should be like a cool 80’s wrestler, or a cool 80’s lady punk band or a cool whiskey concoction that you regret before you drink it.

Challenge time! In this Reward & Immunity Challenge the Survivors need to dive down underwater and untie some puzzle pieces before bringing the pieces to land and solving a three-dimensional rotating puzzle. Three dimensions are cool, but when is Survivor going to have a true 4D puzzle? What is the fourth dimension? Smell-o-vision? Feel around? Will Jeff Probst come through the television like the girl from The Ring? In any event it’s too bad we lost Katrina before the swimming challenge but here we are! The Hustlers and Heroes get off to decent starts while the Healers tribe takes a while retrieving their pieces. Turns out that time wasn’t lost as Mike and Desi make pretty quick work of the puzzle and the Healers win another challenge. It’s down to the Hustlers and the Heroes and Patrick’s yelling can’t save his tribe this time. The Heroes win sending the Hustlers to their first Tribal Council. Everyday they’re hustling, hustling, and packing for a date with Jeff!

After their loss, Simone (of all people!) attempts to give a motivational speech. She’s no Rudy! Simone says that she knows she’s in trouble, but she’s going to try to “shape the narrative” by putting the focus on Patrick instead. Never one to be out of the spotlight, Patrick is seen chewing on a branch. Simone attempts to convince Lauren and Ali to vote out Patrick and they both seem on board. Ali talks to Ryan about it, who is a little more hesitant, but concedes that Patrick is both a loose canon and a leaky ship. At Tribal Council Ryan sets the stage by saying that it’s like the bad birthday party your mom makes you go to for the kid you don’t like and wait hold on, my apologies to “Ben’s old paint” because we have a new worst simile of the episode. Even Jeff Probst seems baffled by this analogy. Lauren chimes in and says that it’s more like a funeral. Can we settle on un-birthday? Simone says that if this were old-school Survivor they would just vote out the weakest members, but now it’s something else. Shaping the narrative? Old-school Survivor? SOMEONE has been listening to a few podcasts! Jeff asks Patrick if there is trust in the group, and Patrick immediately junks it up by saying “I trust most of the people here.” Most… of? This puts everyone on edge, and Jeff Probst hammers it home, desperate for something interesting to happen. Simone reminds us that Survivor is 100% real and, as I have often said, you can’t beat 100%. It’s time to vote and Simone is unceremoniously and unanimously removed, making her the second person voted out of the game. Adios, Simone! May the places you go be filled with air conditioning! I’m not really sure why you were playing this game to begin with and I don’t think you were, either!

Speaking of playing the game it’s time for you to click on over to the Leaderboards to see where you stand. The Pool Princess is still upset “Seal Team” isn’t about a team of adorable seals but she’ll set aside her differences long enough to send out the next pool point opportunity. Next time on Survivor: Cole knows Joe has an idol! Leaky ship, leaky ship! We’ll see you next week.

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Heroes vs. Hustlers vs. Healers episode 1 recap!

Leaderboards

Pool Players Total Points

Survivors Weekly Points & Pool Players Weekly Points & Pool Tribes Points

Ahoy, Pool Players! Even though the ther-mo-meter is reading 100, it’s finally Fall and time for Survivor! Last time on Survivor, Officer Sarah played like a criminal all the way to the million dollar prize. Officer Sarah! She was a Game Changer, remember? Surely you do! Well all that is in the past now because we have an all new cast of eighteen lovable losers attempting to be the next sole Survivor. Will our winner come from the Heroes, the Healers, the Hustlers, or the Hurlers? We’ll find out in December, but first things first, it’s finally time for more Survivor! You know Survivor is back because the show opens with the helpful hashtag #SURVIVORISBACK. Jeff reminds us that this is television’s greatest social experiment, unless you’re counting the first season of Joe Millionaire, in which case Survivor is television’s second greatest social experiment. It’s time to meet our tribes, who have been boated in by some local extras who were probably paid a day wage to say things like “Anchor down!” when a big anchor goes down. Jeff appears out of nowhere and starts off by talking to the three groups of six castaways who have clearly been divided into three different tribes. The first tribe, wearing all blue, are the Heroes. Don’t start looking for Colby or Sugar because this Heroes tribe is made up of everyday heroes, like a fellow from the Marine Corps, a pro football player and, uh, a “financial analyst.” You know, when you ask a group of little kids to draw their dream job one of them usually comes up with “financial analyst.” The Healers tribe, wearing all yellow, consists of people who heal, whether that may be emotionally, physically, or urology. Yes, the Healers tribe contains an actual urologist, Mike, who looks like he was turned down by The Big Bang Theory for “being too much.” Mike introduces himself as a sex worker who helps men with erectile dysfunction, and says in the game of Survivor he is going to “rise to the occasion,” which promptly caused me to throw my computer directly out of the window. Lastly we have the Hustlers, in red, also known as the misfit tribe who didn’t really fit any other description, but we had these people and needed to put them somewhere. Ali is a Hustler who works for a YouTube “celebrity” which apparently involves some serious hustling, like occasionally doing makeup, or picking up a lunch order. The true star of the Hustlers, however, is Ryan, an actual bellhop who claims to be 125 pounds soaking wet, doesn’t have a girlfriend, and may actually be a time-traveling Crispin Glover. Ryan should win, it’s his density! It’s time for the standard Survivor marooning, in which everyone has a minute to throw boxes of fruit overboard before Jeff rings a bell and the sailors ship out. This boat is loaded with both supplies and a secret advantage, which Ryan finds and stuffs into his pants. After leaping off of the boat, the Survivors need to row themselves to shore, where the first two tribes to land and light a torch will receive fire. The first tribe to finish will receive fire in the form of an actual fire at their beach, while the second tribe will get fire in the more traditional form of flint. While everyone hops in their boats at roughly the same time, the Hustlers apparently don’t know how rowing works, which causes them to veer off course and head towards another island. “The Hustlers are lost at sea!” exclaims Jeff, sounding like a weird old-timey newspaper headline: “HUSTLERS LOST AT SEA!” The Heroes and Healers make it to the beach first, with the Healers lighting their torch. Jeff tells the Healers to paddle towards their beach, and they’ll know it’s their beach because it’s actually on fire. The Heroes get the flint, and there’s nothing for the Hustlers, who just made it ashore. Welcome to the game, Hustlers! You’re all my favorite.
Healers Day One! We don’t spend a lot of time with all of the Healers, but we do learn that wilderness guide Cole is, “like Tarzan” and Jessica is smitten. Already! Meanwhile, probation officer Joe tells us that he’s thrilled to be on a tribe that he can manipulate, and excitedly says, “they’re all my victims!” Folks, I’m not saying that Joe is a clone of Tony Vlachos, but I am going to question if we’ve ever seen both of them in the same room at the same time. Over at the Heroes we learn that Alan was in the NFL and that his football knowledge is helping him deduce that Ashley and JP are in secret-couple cahoots. Already! We also have Chrissy and Katrina, who Cowboy Ben has nicknamed the “Mom Squad.” Mom Squad, Mom Squad, whatcha gonna do? Lastly, it’s time to check in with the Hustlers, who are actually getting down to business and building a shelter, and then Patrick finds a walking stick and pretends to eat it. Patrick also surprises himself by forgetting he had a crab in his pocket. Sounds like someone needs to see Doctor Mike! Ryan reminds us that he found the advantage, which is revealed to be a Super Idol that can be played after the votes are read, but only at the first Tribal Council. If the Hustlers do not go to Tribal Council, Ryan will need to give it to someone on the losing tribe, but he may have well as just hurled it directly into the ocean for all the good it ends up doing. Ryan is excited about having an advantage, especially since he carried my bag all the way up to the third floor and I didn’t even give him a tip!

Back with the Healers we learn that Doctor Mike left his wife and kids at home to do something crazy and play Survivor. Mike says that he knows he needs to find an idol, and starts sneaking off by himself to look. His behavior is not lost on the rest of the tribe, and Joe confronts him about it. Joe honestly seems like a nice guy, but he has about one level, and that level is “you owe me money and I’m going to be nice about it, but if I have to get creative with this pool cue, I will.” Mike is intimidated by this and tells Joe he doesn’t have an idol, while Joe assures him that they’re cool because they talked privately and I’m sure you’ll be able to get me that money soon! Over at the Hustlers they’re dragging a tree out from the beach for… reasons? Also we get to meet Devon, who doesn’t say a darn word but everyone appears to be infatuated with. Ryan decides he needs some muscle on his side, so he reveals to Devon that he found the idol. Devon is stoked, since Devon appears to have about one level, and that level is, “Surf’s up!” Ryan and Devon promise to bring chaos with the idol, and, man, I hope they’re not talking about this idol, since what eventually happens with it is less “chaos” and more of a “prolonged sigh.” Back at the Heroes, Alan concocts a scheme to break up JP and Ashley, again for REASONS, the main one being that he wants everyone else to think that JP has an idol. Why? There’s no good gosh darn reason for this other than Alan stirring up drama, and the most upsetting part is that Alan knows this and plays into it for, again, reasons. This show! This eventually leads to a nighttime scene where Alan tells JP he needs to reveal his idol or else. If a man tells you to reveal your idol under the cover of darkness I’m pretty sure the first thing you should do is ask them if they’re a cop. JP ends up stripping to prove he doesn’t have an idol, though the amount of blur on screen may suggest otherwise!

Immunity Challenge time! In this challenge the Survivors need to climb up a wall, ride a mine cart down a track, choose a puzzle, carry that puzzle up another wall and then complete the puzzle three times. This challenge has all sorts of rules and twists but the only thing that matters is they get to crash their cart into a pile of hay and that looks like fun. All three tribes are quick out the gate, with the Healers reaching the puzzle last and having to take the (seemingly) hardest one. But then they end up finishing the puzzle first, making their challenge total two for two. It’s a nail-biter between the Hustlers and the Heroes, but the Hustlers finish next sending the Heroes to Tribal Council. It’s not all fun and games, however, since here’s Hero Chrissy collapsed on the ground. Jeff asks if she wants to see the medical team, which she doesn’t, she just needs to vom something up. It’s one of the grossest things I’ve seen on this show and that includes the time someone hid Phillip Shepard’s shorts. Chrissy finishes expelling but remains on the ground as Probst sends the other tribes away. Poor Chrissy, she ralphed up her lunch and she still has to walk down all those steps! Meanwhile Ryan tells us that he needs to give his idol to one of the Heroes, and he’s thinking about giving it to someone on the bottom. Gee, a tribe full of strong people and one of them collapses. I wonder who he’ll choose?!?

Back at the Heroes beach, JP and Ashley are still nervous since Alan created a spectacle out of nothing. They still vow with him to vote four strong against Katrina or Chrissy. Katrina who? It’s not important. Alan, meanwhile, goes to Katrina and Chrissy and says he’ll work with them, since nobody has been talking to him. This is a lie, obviously, but he’s able to get them to admit they’re targeting Ashley, and they might be able to rope Cowboy Ben in, as well. Ben isn’t sure how he’s going to vote; he seems eager to get rid of a weaker player, but then again he seems eager to break up a couple but then again again he seems eager to be done with Alan’s nonsense. Before we go to Tribal we learn that SURPRISE SURPRISE Ryan has given his idol to Chrissy, who hopefully washed her hands before receiving it. At Tribal Council, Ben says he’s not sure what’s going to happen, which, given the votes, seems pretty impossible. Nevertheless, there’s a lot of talk about the stronger four voting out one of the older ladies, and also a re-hashing of the strip search from last night. Jeff Probst seems pretty thrilled by the notion that stripping happened on his show, unaware that it was less “Magic Mike” and more “Blurry Nighttime Idol Search.” Also, not sure if you know, but Alan is nuts, playing some sort of crazy solo game while everyone else revolves around him. In a regular season that would be enough to vote him out first, but instead it’s Olympian Katrina who gets voted out be her entire tribe, Chrissy included. So the Super Idol is a non-starter yet again, even in an episode where it was specifically designed to desperately start drama. Farewell to Katrina, who wasn’t even on this show long enough for us to learn what her Olympic sport was. Was it beach volleyball? Gymnastics? Hang gliding? Skiing? Downhill skiing Water skiing? Tennis? Couples tennis? Couples only tennis? Couples only skate? Couples only, if you’re not a couple please get off the roller rink floor? That means you, sir! Carrying a large bag of popcorn does not make you a couple!

It’s the first week of Survivor and the first week of our pool, which means a hearty welcome back and the first full week of points! Congratulations to Sharon who is currently in the lead. Make sure to click on over to the Leaderboards to see where you stand. The Pool Princess is sadly resetting her “Days without seeing someone hurl on television” counter back to 0, but she’ll step down from her ladder long enough to send out the next mini-team challenge. Next time on Survivor: Trouble between Ali and Patrick! Who? It’s not important! See you soon.

Game Changers, finale update

Leaderboards

Pool Players Total Points

Pool Players Weekly Points

Pool Tribes Points

Going Out Challenge (Ongoing)

Survivors Weekly Points

Ahoy, Pool Players! After thirty nine days, twelve weeks, and one Troyzan, it’s finally time to say goodbye to this season of Survivor. Remember when Ciera was on this show? Remember JT? Remember the sugar incident? Remember the goats?!? It’s all in the past now! After an eventful two hours Survivor: Game Changers ended with a banger as Sarah won the million dollar prize, besting Brad and Troyzan. Congratulations, Sarah! Your victory was so obvious it could have been seen from outer space, but it’s still refreshing that this season had a deserved winner. As for runners-up Cirie, Aubry and Tai, you each will always have a special place in my Survivor heart. Everyone’s a winner, except for Brad and Troyzan, who most definitely lost. It’s bad news for dudes! Speaking of deserved winners, our own congratulations are in order for… drumroll please..

JULIE is our big champion, coming in first on the final Leaderboards with 18,527 points. Julie had solid positioning all year and a very strong final week, promoting her to first place. Congratulations, Julie!

TYLER takes second place with 18,311 points. The Master of the Going Out order, Tyler was just 216 points behind first. Congratulations, Tyler.

ELHANNA takes third place. After being near the middle and top all season some solid last-week picks helped Elhanna take third place. Congratulations, Elhanna!

The super secret non-monetary prize goes to Dave. What can it be? It’s a mystery!

The “Thanks for Playing” prize goes to Bailey, who ended up in the middle of the pack at 18th place.

The Quick Pick Player of the Year is Peggy, who came in 6th place. Yay, Peggy!

Thanks to everyone for playing! Keeping track of the pool and watching with all of you really makes this silly show special. We couldn’t have the Pool Kingdom without the Pool Players! We hope to see you (and your friends!) next season. Speaking of which, next time on Survivor: It’s a whole new season! There’s a bellhop! It’s Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers. It’s too bad they rejected my original idea of Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Big Money Rustlas. What kind of hustlers will be involved? Is this like the pool kind or the kind that hang out by the hotel pool late at night, if you know what I mean. What if I know a guy who’s really good at The Hustle? Does that count? Hopefully we’ll get answers to all these questions as well as ones we haven’t even asked yet come September when the new season starts. September! Keep your TV tuned to CBS and we will see you there. See you at the luncheon! Good night!

Game changers, episode 11 recap

Leaderboards

Pool Players Total Points

Pool Tribes Points

Going Out Challenge (Ongoing)

Ahoy, Pool Players! It’s a warm Wednesday night and time again for Survivor! Previously on Survivor, Sarah won the game. Congratulations, Sarah! Well, not actually, but with the amount of screen time she’s been given they might as well hand her the check right now. It would be too bad for fans of exclusives on CBS This Morning! Last week, Sarah was able to use the power of the Legacy Advantage against Sierra, even though Sierra thought they were close. Sarah aligned with the majority and voted out Sierra, and even acted shocked when the vote was read. Shocked! Her eyes were like dinner plates! Is that still a thing people say? I don’t know! Sarah now has the Legacy Advantage and the Vote Steal. Remember the Vote Steal? Trust me, you will! Back at camp, Aubry, Cirie, and Andrea bond over the weirdest Tribal Council ever. I mean, nobody removed their fake teeth, but it was pretty weird. Andrea is concerned that Sarah acted too shocked when Sierra was voted out, especially since she knew Sierra was going home. Cirie says that Sarah has been putting in the work, but that she might be easy to beat if they’re in the finals together. Don’t count your police officers before they hatch! Sarah reminds us of her dual advantages and says that she’s “shooting for the stars.” While I’m pretty sure such behavior will get you kicked out of the police force it sure makes for entertaining Survivor!

Hang onto your hats, folks, because it’s already Immunity Challenge time! Yes, this is a twofer of Survivor, with two Immunity Challenges and two Tribal Councils for the price of one! Nobody got lifted out of an helicopter so they’ve gotta do something to move this season along! “Parting is such sweet sorrow!” Brad laments as his previous immunity is removed. Did Monica bring him a book of bad poetry? In this challenge the Survivors need to both build and balance a house of cards so it reaches to the top. The last time a house of cards was used in an immunity challenge it was when I challenged myself to watch the Netflix original series House of Cards but I fell asleep on the couch instead. Also, while everyone says “cards” these are really just colorful tiles. They’re not recommended for competitive pinochle! Aubry and Andrea are both quick to build, while others struggle. As more and more Survivors drop their cards, Jeff says “this challenge is fast to change hands!” which I think might be a playing card pun but also maybe not? Aubry is the only one who doesn’t fumble, yet she’s in a bad place when she runs out of cards without reaching the top. She needs to readjust, which leaves the door open for someone else. Nobody can keep it together, though, and Aubry rearranges her stack and wins immunity. She is now the time record holder in this challenge, besting Cochran by a whopping eleven minutes. Congratulations, Aubry. Maybe someday you too will be asked to spend a night with Debbie alone on a boat int he middle of now– Aubry? Hey, Aubry, come back! Aubry! We need that immunity necklace for the next challenge!

Back at camp, Aubry thinks it’s time to vote out Brad or Troyzan, and she decides Brad is the best option. Michaela says she’ll distract Brad by telling him that he needs to fish for the tribe. She quite literally wants home to “go fish.” Playing card humor! Michaela finds Brad in the woods and tells him exactly this, complete with a #GOFISH. It is very silly. Andrea, meanwhile, is still nervous about keeping Sarah around. Andrea once again brings up that look! Andrea’s waffling riles up Cirie, who thinks now might be the time to finally turn on her ally and vote Andrea out. Cirie says she needs to decide between Andrea or Brad, and that timing is key. Turns out life is made up of two keys: timing and reading the fine print. Don’t worry – we’ll get there. At Tribal Council the royal “we” is invoked yet again, with the talk being about voting with the group or turning on your allies. Everyone seems to be concerned that it was oh so quiet back at camp, with nary a scramble in sight! Aubry says that getting voted out is inherently emotional, since Survivor is an emotional game. You can tell this from the way that Micheala cried when Zeke was voted out, or the way that Michaela kicked the puzzle when she lost the challenge, or the way that Micheala told Brad to #GOFISH. Sarah thinks that the jury will reward gameplay over emotions. Game changers, etc etc. Brad says that if they stick with their alliance, at five, somebody is going to “get got” or wish they had “got” somebody else. Brad using slang street language is about as natural as you may expect. He sounds like he’s reading a bad translation of a Jay-Z song. It’s time to vote and Andrea is given the boot, much to the surprise of her ally Aubry. Andrea says “Yoooouuu!” to Cirie when she is voted out, and is generally pleasant about the whole thing. Goodbye, Andrea. Turns out you may have been better at this game than you thought.

The next day, Aubry says that Survivor is a game of really high highs and really low lows, sometimes in the same afternoon! Aubry is pretty wrecked about the vote and Tai consoles her. Cirie wonders if this is a strategic move, but it’s really just Tai being a nice dude. He did name a chicken after his life partner, after all. Strap down those seatbelt because it’s time for the second Immunity challenge. This time the Survivors need to stand on a perch, lower a bucket into the water, use that bucket to get a key, use that key to unlock some puzzle pieces and then solve a complicated compass puzzle. Ah, yes, the lesser known sequel to The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe: The Bucket, the Key and the Puzzle. Everyone seems to be pretty good with the first part of the challenge, aside from Cirie, whose bucket is stuck. Stuck bucket, stuck stuck bucket! It comes down to the puzzle, which is a real humdinger. Jeff helpfully reminds us that it’s a hard puzzle, and it’s even harder after 35 days of Survivor. I can also imagine having a loud host yell about how hard the puzzle is doesn’t make it any easier. Michaela thinks she has the solution but she’s wrong, which causes her to kick her puzzle in frustration. “Michaela kicks her puzzle, which always helps!” says an equally helpful Jeff. Eventually Brad figures it out and wins individual immunity. Not pictured is the scene where Aubry yells “This guy! It should have been this guy!” while Brad collects yet another immunity win.

Troyzan is pretty happy that Brad won, and reminds us that he has an idol. Remember when Troyzan found that idol? Me neither! Tai and Aubry talk on the beach. Tai thinks he might need to start making big moves, starting with going after Sarah. Tai says that it’s “scary time big boy time.” You can tell Tai is nervous about making a big move since he calls it, “scary time big boy time.” There’s no scenario in which someone saying “scary time big boy time” leads to a positive outcome! Aubry tells Cirie about Tai’s plan, and Cirie promptly tells Sarah. Here, folks, is where things go south: Sarah doesn’t believe Cirie even though we know Cirie is telling the truth. Sarah still thinks that Tai is with her. To prove it, she decides to give Cirie her vote steal. Never one to turn down an advantage, Cirie decides that she’s definitely going to use the vote steal against Sarah to prove to her that Tai wanted to vote her out. This isn’t actually a bad plan, but it’s perhaps a hair too deceptive and strategic for what’s actually going on here: Tai wants to vote Sarah out and she doesn’t believe him. That’s it! There’s nothing scary time or big boy time about this! Paranoia is the theme of Tribal Council tonight, with everyone discussing how they’re basing their votes on lies and fear. (Feel free to insert your own political parallels here). It’s time to vote but before we can get to that, Cirie announces she wants to use to the vote steal against Sarah. Sarah reveals that it’s actually her advantage, not Cirie’s, and the advantage is -are you sitting down- non-transferable. Jeff has Cirie read the fine print out loud which confirms this fact. The last time there was this much drama involving the fine print, I found out I had a tub of yogurt that expired the next day. Cirie’s inability to read the fine print sets off a whirlwind of activity. Cirie desperately tries to explain to Sarah that she was only using the vote steal to prove her loyalty. Michaela can prove this since she knew about the plan. There’s a lot of hushed conversations and people getting up and moving around and finally Sarah is ready to vote. She decides to use the steal against Tai. The votes are read, and in a rug-pulled-out twist, Michaela is sent home. Why Michaela? Were they nervous about Cirie and Michaela’s bond? Were Troyzan and Brad just going to vote for Micheala anyway? Was that puzzle mad that Michaela kicked it? Michaela couldn’t have ever actually won, right? It’s a disappointing end to a real head-scratcher of a Tribal Council. It makes you long for simpler times, like when Andrea was voted out with a 6-2 majority. Ah, 8:30 PM. The good old days!

Speaking of the good old days, it’s time to click on over to the Leaderboards to see where you stand. The Pool Princess has announced she’s been appointed to be a special prosecutor in something called “mouse court” but she promises to stop investigating long enough to send out the final pool point opportunity. Yes, folks, this is it! After many weeks of Survivor and several changes in the weather, it’s finally time to see who wins. So, you know, congratulations Sarah! We’ll see you next week.

Game changers, episode 10 recap!

Leaderboards

Pool Players Total Points

Pool Tribes & Mini Team Points

Going Out Challenge (Ongoing)

Survivors Weekly Points

 

Ahoy, Pool Players! It’s time to step away from the craziness that is the real world and tune into the craziness that is Survivor! Previously on Survivor, the former majority became the minority and was certain they’d be the next to go. Challenge winner Andrea had other plans, though, and elected to vote out recent returnee Zeke. Sierra, Troyzan, and Brad all voted for Tai, which probably doesn’t bode well for their minority friendship. Back at camp, Brad was blindsided by the vote, even though the majority seems pretty chill. Brad sure doesn’t seem to be on the right side of a lot of things. Michaela warns us that nothing is solid in a big group. I’m no scientist but I think that’s how atoms work? The majority meets briefly and decides it’s time to vote out a duo. They think now is the time to finally break up Brad and Sierra, by giving Brad the boot. Sierra knows she has to do damage control, and says that she wants to work with her “best friend” Sarah. Ah, yes, the storied Sarah/Sierra alliance. You know how we had Bennifer and Speidi and Brangelina? I think we should start referring to these two as “Sierahah.” Sierra tells Sarah that she has the Legacy Advantage, and that it can only be used when there are six Survivors left. Sierra promises she’ll will the advantage to Sarah. Have these people never seen a soap opera / legal drama / Adam Sandler comedy from the 90s? Never trust a will until the will is read! Sarah tells us that this makes her want to keep Sierra in the game, a statement that causes a set of fireworks to go off and the “FORESHADOWING” banner to drop down behind her.

Reward Challenge time! The Survivors need to complete an obstacle course and then toss some sandbags at some blocks to win a big steak dinner. But there’s more! “You are playing for your loved ones,” says Jeff, which is a sentence that could either be sentimental or menacing, depending on the intonation. Yes, those of you who miss The Jeff Probst Show will be pleased to know that this is the return of the loved ones Reward Challenge. This one has even more editorializing than usual from Jeff, presumably since this episode is a case study in the struggle to fill an hour of television. First up is Sarah’s husband, Wyatt. Sarah gives Wyatt credit for being “100% on his own” while raising their son. What is his usual percentage? You can’t beat 100%! Next is Andrea’s mother, who tearfully reflects on Andrea’s strength in the game. Next up is Aubry’s sister Carrie, which allows Jeff to launch into a monologue about the bond with siblings, provided those siblings aren’t Colby and his brother. Here’s Sierra’s Dad, Dan! Sierra gives Dan a big hug, which prompts Jeff to say that we haven’t seen this side of her, and I think the side he’s referring to is joy? The MVP of the afternoon is Micheala’s mother, Candy, who I desperately want to get cast on this show. Please start using my promotional hashtag “#SurvivorCandy” but do not bother looking at anything that may have previously been posted there! Next up is Troyzan’s brother, Toddzan. Turns out Troyzan has five siblings: Toddzan, Timothyzan, Theresazann, Trishzann, and Carol. Here’s Tai’s “love of his life,” Mark. Upon embracing Mark, Tai immediately asks how the cats are. It’s important to have priorities! Next up is Monica Culpepper PLEASE KEEP READING who is Brad’s wife and who you may remember from losing this show twice. “The fans know her!” says Jeff, perhaps leading many to question whether or not they are actual fans. Last but certainly not least is Cirie’s son Jerry, who just graduated from high school. He’s a regular Will Wahl! After about thirty minutes of expository sobbing, it’s finally time to get to the challenge. The Survivors are competing in teams of three, but this isn’t really much of a fight with Brad, Andrea, and Aubry easily taking the cake. The only other notable moment was when both Sierra and Tai got stuck underneath separate logs, causing the Foreshadowing Editor to throw a couple of unnecessary musical stingers their way. If you thought that three people winning was going to mean the end of all the drama this challenge usually provides well THINK AGAIN.  Brad, Andrea and Aubry get to choose not one but two fellow players and their loved ones to join in on the reward. After many pained faces and a lot of pleading, (plus Micheala deadpanning, wonderfully, “I’d like to go, too.”), they choose Cirie and Sarah to go along. Folks, you know I’m a sucker for an emotional reunion, but between Jeff’s unnecessary commentary and the lack of impact these nice people had on the actual game, this one was a bit of a snooze. Please wake me when someone, (anyone!), contributes something.

It’s reward time! Everyone is seated at one long table like it’s the Last Supper or they’re panelists on To Tell The Truth. It’s a weird set! Cirie tells us that Jerry is a city kid, who never thought he’d be out here in the jungle, despite the fact that his mother has spent about 25% of her life doing just that. Cirie hilariously tells Jerry that the lavatory is “wherever you find it” which is a mentality that will almost certainly get you kicked out of the county fair. Brad says that having Monica there helps since she is, “a former stud Survivor player.” Ah, yes, when I think of Monica Culpepper, (which is fairly often!), the first word that comes to mind is “stud.” Back at camp, Michaela says that she’s disappointed in not being chosen for the reward, and thinks she may be being taken advantage of by her alliance. She decides to align with Tai, who is in a similar position. Meanwhile, Sierra wants to pull Tai back into her alliance, despite the fact that she just coordinated an unsuccessful vote against him. This new grouping of Michaela, Tai, Sierra, Troyzan, and presumably Brad, want to vote out Andrea next. We all know what happens to people who want to vote out Andrea! Michaela sums up this interaction by speaking about herself in the third person, which is always a good metric for someone’s mental stability on this show. Hang in there Michaela! The strength of Candy compels you! (#SurvivorCandy #CandyonSurvivor #QueenCandy #QueenofFamilyVisits #BloodVersusWaterAllCandyEdition)

You know it’s a fast moving episode when it’s already time for the Immunity Challenge. The Survivors need to hold a buoy between two sticks while standing on a narrow beam. This is about as exciting as it sounds! This seems like the kind of challenge that a bunch of bored sailors came up with and, like most things, would probably be improved with a lot of rum. Aubry and Sierra drop out first, and then more follow, leading to a final three of Brad, Tai and Michaela. After Michaela drops, it’s down to Brad and Tai. Tai fumbles his buoy and Brad wins, giving him his first individual immunity victory. Jeff Probst practically treats this moment like a Super Bowl victory, despite the fact that Brad Culpepper left the game well before the merge the last time around, and only seems to be sticking around here based on sheer luck. Congratulations, Brad, I guess!

Back at the beach, the majority decides that with Brad winning they should vote out Sierra instead. Michaela and Tai meet in semi-private, and say they think it’s time to vote for Andrea. Sierra is of course on board with voting out Andrea, and tells this to Sarah. Unfortunately for Sierra, Sarah now wants that Legacy Advantage, and says that it’s not at all bad if Sierra is the one who goes home tonight. Remember that foreshadowing banner from earlier tonight? At this point it’s practically lit up in lights. Sarah says that she’s not here to make friends, she’s here to steal advantages! Playing like a criminal, not a cop! Flipping that siren on and pulling donuts in the park! Steamrolling her way to a predictable victory! Sarah tells Michaela to vote for Sierra instead. Michaela says that she’s nervous about all the changes, since you don’t want to end up on the jury “looking stupid.” I’m not sure that this jury looks stupid, but Hali does often seem to be confused about where she is and why there are so many cameras around. At Tribal Council, Jeff Probst brings up the loved ones challenge, and asks if making the difficult choices resulted in any consequences. It’s practically a plea for the pot to be stirred, somehow, anyhow! There’s yet more celebration of Brad’s “big win” even though Brad himself admits that he can’t revel in the glory since he’s pretty sure someone in his alliance is going home. Sierra and Andrea both talk about how they know they’re big threats. Aubry asks “what kind of threat is most threatening to me?”, which is really a question for the ages, right up there with “If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?” There’s a lot of talk about how being part of a “We” can be misleading, since the groups have a tendency to shift. Jeff Probst ends this by saying the the vote is going to be for We and not Me, doing a thing with his hand so he makes a W going up and an M going down. Did Jeff Probst just flash that lamest gang sign on national television? W’s up, M’s down! Not since “Peace up, A-Town down!” has there been a more accessible way to flash your colors! It’s time to vote and Sierra gets the majority, finally sending her home. On her way out, she wills her advantage to Sarah, unaware that Sarah orchestrated the vote against her. So long, Sierra. It’s back to the rodeo with you!

Speaking of rodeos, it’s time to click on over to see the roundup on the Leaderboards. The Pool Princess got her derby hat stuck in a doorway, but she promises to get herself out in time to send out the next pool points opportunity. Next time on Survivor: Cirie has a tough choice to make, hopefully not involving the lavatory. See you soon!

Game changers, episode 9 recap!

Leaderboards

Pool Players Total Points

Pool Tribes Points

Going Out Challenge (Ongoing)

 

Ahoy, Pool Players! May the third be with you, it’s time again for Survivor! Previously on Survivor, the big alliance thought they had all the power until Officer Sarah threw a badge in their wheelbarrow. Debbie got sent packing instead, which put the former majority into the minority, or so we think. It’s 2017! Everything we thought we knew about majorities and minorities is all backwards! Anything can happen! Back at the beach, Brad was genuinely blindsided by the vote. You know you’ve done something right when you’ve gobsmacked Brad. There’s a lot of uncomfortable silence until Sarah owns up to being the flipper. Sticking true to the title of the show, there’s a lot of talk about how the move was game changing since they’re all game changers and this a season about -did you know- changing the game, etc etc. Michaela says that as long as their group of six sticks together, they’ll be solid. Oddly enough, this is exactly the same argument Michaela made last season immediately before she was voted out. Keep that in mind! Cirie says that they took control but all it takes is one wrong move and they’re on the jury, where they’ll have to listen to Debbie’s boring stories all over again.

Back from the break it’s already Reward Challenge time. Tai compliments the challenge design, and says that it’s beautiful. It’s a battleground, Tai! Summon your inner warrior. Forget about your inner gardener! He can have the day off! In this challenge two teams of five will race through some obstacles, get hoisted up on a chair, collect some tiles and then use those tiles to solve a lengthy word puzzle. The winners will be taken by chopper to an actual resort, where they’ll enjoy a fancy food spread and then get to sleep on an actual bed. I’m no aviation expert, but is there a difference between a chopper and a helicopter? Is a chopper just a helicopter who got in with the wrong crowd and now he’s smoking cigarettes behind the middle school? “This is not real life!” Sierra says when the reward is announced. No, Sierra, it’s reality television, which is usually close enough. These teams are actually fairly evenly divided, with both Michaela and Brad giving strong showings on their sides. At one point Sierra and Sarah are up against each other, which leads Jeff to say, “Sierra and Sarah are side by side,” which is sadly not followed by, “selling seashells by the seashore!” It comes down to the word puzzle, which is a doozy. The actual phrase is “Reinventing how this game is played” which may or may not be a sentence but let’s not pick hairs here. The real difficulty comes with “Reinventing” not being a word you hear in everyday conversation, unless you’re selling shampoo or laundry detergent to bored channel surfers during the middle of the afternoon. Everyone is stumped by this, which leads to a hilarious shot of Troyzan asking if “nutritional” is eleven letters. (It is!) After fifty minutes of bad Scrabble, Andrea happens upon “Reinventing” which sets Zeke in motion, putting the rest of the letters in place. The winners are Andrea, Zeke, Brad, Aubry, and Sarah. Jeff quickly whisks them away to the chopper. They’re not paying for it to stay on the ground!

Reward time! It’s too bad Debbie’s not here to bang on about another form of air transportation, but the chopper ride does give good shots of the Fiji islands. The resort is, like, an actual resort, with an infinity pool and a lazy susan (!) of sandwiches and a guy handing out drinks. Brad says that this is exactly the group he wanted to be on reward with, since he needs bonding time, and also, cheesecake. “Eggs!” Aubry says upon seeing some eggs. Between this and the coleslaw moment from last week, she’s really becoming the go-to for Survivor food reactions. Alas, the reward turns into the Brad and Zeke bonding session, as they geek out over college football and at one point Brad wears a robe, I don’t know. Their chattering upsets the rest of the group, including Andrea, who reminds us that she’s already on bad terms with Zeke. Have you ever been at a party where two people strike up a conversation about college football and you’re just, like, “I hope they’re not neglecting their studies!” and then you back away far enough that you fade into the wallpaper? That’s something that’s happened to everyone, right? The next morning at camp, Sierra is again complaining about hunger. Survivor is hard, y’all! Tai tells us that he’s worried about being on the bottom for the first time, which means I don’t think he’s seen his own season of Survivor. Back from the reward, everyone tells Brad that he looks like’s gained a few pounds. It’s time for the Debbie diet: first you yell it out and then you do ten angry pushups. The health benefits are minimal but the emotional release is fantastic! Aubry says that the reward was so lavish she felt like she was on “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.” Even Robin Leach would be jealous! Andrea and Cirie get together and make a plan to vote out Zeke. Cirie knows it will only work if “Officer Sarah” is on board, so she makes the pitch. Sarah is close friends with Zeke and doesn’t want to vote him out. She wants to tell this to Cirie, so to gain Cirie’s trust she tells her about the vote steal. No, not the vote seal, the vote steal! You could say that Sarah gives Cirie the steal of approval. Sarah knows she needs to be careful with this plan, since revealing your advantage has never really worked out well in the past. At this rate Sarah will either seal the steal deal or she’ll crash and burn in spectacular fashion. There’s no in-between!

At camp, Zeke is nervous about the sudden calm. Nobody is talking so something is up! He decides to extend his bond with Brad to a bond with Brad and Troyzan. The boys are back in town! Zeke tells Brad and Troyzan that he can’t tell them who’s getting voted out next, but it isn’t one of them. I mean, that doesn’t leave open a huge door for guessing. All this drama takes us to the immunity challenge. First things first, it’s time for Troyzan to give back immunity. Jeff tells him to “spin and grin” which I think is the name of a website that’s not safe for work. In this immunity challenge the Survivors need to stack their dominos in such a way that they’ll fall and hit a gong. Tricky thing is the floor is connected to the contraption, so if you trip up, you’re out of luck. Everyone is pretty adept at this, and it’s only Brad who inadvertently sends his dominos tumbling. I know dominoes is like, an actual game, but it sure is more fun just to set them up and watch them fall. Andrea takes an early lead but she runs out of pins towards the end, causing some recalculations. Nobody can catch up to her, though, and she wins her second immunity. Time for the spin and grin!

Back at camp, Andrea tells Cirie that she definitely wants to vote for Zeke. They have this conversation at the waterhole, where they’re visited by both Sierra and Sarah. Sierra says she’ll do anything -anything!- to stay in the game. Anything? Anything! Sarah announces her arrival by mimicking a police siren, which is kind of amusing unless it’s what she does every time she enters a room. Is Sarah a real cop or does she just like the way sirens sound? Cirie tells the plan to Michaela, who isn’t entirely on-board. Michaela reminds us that if you start voting out your own alliance, it only takes one person to flip and then you’re back on the bottom again. Just as a reminder, this is the exact same situation that happened to Michaela when she was voted out, so she might know a thing or two about a thing or two. At Tribal Council, Sarah opens up about flipping to vote out Debbie, to which Debbie flips her the bird. Yes, Debbie is also an ornithologist, but only of the single-fingered variety. It seems like the vote should be an obvious six to four, but then there’s also some talk about setting aside your emotions when it’s time to send someone home. Michaela says you need to turn the heart down and turn the game up, unless you’re talking about the musical group Heart, in which case you should always keep them turned up, neighbors be darned! It’s time to vote and the heart loses this round, as Zeke is sent packing by his own alliance. Confusingly, even Tai got a couple of votes, which means that nobody on that side really knows what’s happening. Jeff Probst reminds us that Survivor is no longer a game about simple majorities. It’s also not a game about giving away cars or constructing bowling alleys in the sand, so I guess some things have changed!

Speaking of changing there were a lot of big leaps on the Leaderboards, so click on over to see where you stand. The Pool Princess fell asleep during the tornado warning and woke up telling us all about a crazy technicolor dream she had, but she’ll stop long enough to send out the next pool challenge. Next time on Survivor: it’s the loved ones challenge. I hope you’re all excited for the return of Monica Culpepper! You know she’ll be there! We will too, see you next week!

Game Changers, episode 8 recap

Leaderboards

Pool Players Total Points

Pool Tribes Points

Going Out Challenge (Ongoing)

Survivors Weekly Points

Mini Team Points

Ahoy, Pool Players! It’s another Wednesday and time for Survivor! Previously on Survivor, Zeke turned on Andrea, who got upset and turned right back on him. Sensing an opportunity, Debbie made her big move and voted out Ozzy. After Tribal Council, Debbie is thrilled that she got what she wanted. It’s a tribe of Debbie! Debbie tells us that the line is “drawn in concrete.” I don’t know how the laws apply, but I’m pretty sure that will get you kicked off the construction site. Andrea and Zeke have a mini-confrontation, where Andrea says that it’s shady that Zeke was voting for her. This isn’t much of a conversation, and Zeke eventually walks away from a heated Andrea. Sarah sees this as an opportunity to get in with Andrea and the other side. Sarah! You remember her! She’s the cop who plays like a criminal! Sarah tells us that there might be a line in the sand, but that the tide will rise to take it out. Wait, which one is it, sand or concrete? Don’t you need sand to make concrete? Don’t ask me, I’m not a geologist.

Don’t blink now because it’s Reward Challenge time! In this Reward Challenge the Survivors will be broken into two teams of five. They’ll need to individually complete a water obstacle course, dive down to get a water-logged grappling hook, and then try to hook some water rings. It’s all very wet. The winning team will get a seaplane ride to some picturesque island where they’ll enjoy an equally picturesque feast. The teams are divided by a schoolyard pick by your captains Brad and Cirie. Brad mostly picks his alliance with Sierra, Debbie, Aubry and Andrea. Cirie picks people she thinks can help her out with Troyzan, Zeke, Tai and Sarah. Those good with math will realize this leaves Michaela un-chosen. Michaela! What team wouldn’t want Michaela on it? Put her in the draft! Michaela gets to pout on a bench and watch. Little does she know that right beneath her is a piece of paper that says SECRET ADVANTAGE in enormous block letters. It looks obvious to us because the camera lingers on it for about thirty seconds, but I can imagine it would be difficult to see since it’s below you and you’re too busy wondering what life would be like if you were winning this challenge, which is kind of a mess. Tai takes too long on the balance beam, giving the blue team a bit of a lead. That lead is closed when Aubry fails to cross the beam in one go, and the two teams are close to tied. Whatever advantage orange may have had evaporates completely when we get the one-two punch of Zeke and Cirie attempt to finish this challenge. Let’s just say that it doesn’t involve a puzzle, so the two of them are swimming without a raft. First, Zeke takes several attempts that make it across the beam, then Cirie can’t event make her way onto the platform where the obstacle course is. Sarah eventually swims out to help her, even though this means Sarah will need to run the course again. The blue team easily wins, although they should have easily won to begin with, since they had actual human rodeo person Sierra Dawn Thomas handling the rope. The challenge ends with a whimper, not a bang, and Cirie is still trying to get on that platform. Jeff Probst gives her the opportunity to finish the challenge on her own terms, and it is a touching moment, even if all it amounts to is watching a woman struggle to run across a balance beam six or seven times. With the help of her tribe, Cirie finally makes it across the course. No, she does not get a seat on the seaplane. It’s plain to see that the seaplane is for WINNERS ONLY. “This is what happens when you believe in yourself, anything is possible!” exclaims Jeff Probst, with an emotional delivery somewhere between an Olympic coach and a motivational cat poster. Before everyone departs, Sarah notices the secret advantage that Michaela missed. She swims over to the bench, somehow avoiding detection, and snags the advantage for herself. If you’re keeping score, Sarah has an advantage, Sierra has the Legacy Advantage, Troyzan has one idol, Tai has two idols and Debbie already played her extra vote in an inconsequential way. Guess which one will matter tonight!

Back at the beach, Cirie apologizes to her tribe for losing the challenge. I mean, Zeke didn’t exactly help your cause, but thanks for taking the fall! Cirie says that even though they’re all in a game the people she’s playing with are good people. I’d say the jury is out on that! Speaking of juries, here’s Sarah reminding us she’s a cop. Hey, did you know Sarah is a cop? Because you’ve gotta tell me if you know. Sarah says that most people driving behind you won’t know if your registration is expired, but she will. Is that her superpower? Was she bitten by a radioactive license plate? Sarah reveals that the advantage is a vote steal, meaning she’ll get to remove one of the votes at Tribal and presumably use it for herself. The vote steal can’t be stolen by someone else, which I think is what lawyers call double indemnity. Sarah says she’ll be the first person to play the vote steal correctly, which, given that her closest competitor is Dan Foley, shouldn’t be too hard. That sound you hear is Debbie yelling about airplanes, which means it’s time to check in with how things are going on the seaplane. “Oh my God, I love airplanes!” yells Debbie, who reminds us she has experience from her time in the Air Force Auxiliary and also from whenever she eats peas and needs to “come in for a landing.” I have to be honest with you, the Reward island looks a whole lot like the other islands, which probably means they flew that plane around in a circle once or twice and then landed about five minutes from camp. There is an enormous food spread, complete with brownies, french fries and coleslaw. Folks, if I can offer you one piece of advice, it’s don’t take a chance on an unknown coleslaw. Potato salad is one thing, but once you start eyeing the ‘slaw in the back of the deli it may be time to consider your life and choices. Nonetheless, Aubry is enchanted by this ‘slaw, excitedly proclaiming “Coleslaw!” in the most screen time she’s gotten in weeks. At the Reward, Andrea dishes on Zeke. She’s still upset that he tied to flip on her, even if his move was all for not. Sierra tells us, “Life can’t get any better than it is today!” which is a flat-out lie. Sierra reminds us that her six is tight, and there’s no way they’re going to break. No way. None at all. This alliance is as solid as a Kit-Kat bar!

Immunity time! In this Immunity challenge, the Survivors need to balance a plank while spelling the word “Immunity” in block letters. Whoever spells the word the fastest wins. Can you use it in a sentence, Jeff? What is the origin? Are there any alternate pronunciations? As everyone races, Andrea takes an early lead, but she’s closely followed by Troyzan and Brad. Nobody else is very good at this, though there are a lot of satisfying shots of blocks tumbling over and the Survivors just looking upset. Andrea is incredibly close to victory when her letters tumble, opening the door for Troyzan. Debbie, amazingly enough, is actively cheering against Andrea during all this. Didn’t they just bond in that seaplane? Troyzan spells it first and wins his first Individual challenge. Congratulations, Troyzan. You can spell.

Back at the beach, Brad and Sierra confer about voting out Michaela, but agree that Andrea is the bigger threat. They bring this plan to Debbie, who argues hard for Michaela to go. Debbie tells us that Michaela is highly annoying, which is kind of like the pot calling the entire Bed, Bath, and Beyond. The six, (Brad, Sierra, Debbie, Tai, Troyzan, and Sarah), agree to vote out Andrea and tell everyone else they’re voting for Michaela. However, Sarah isn’t so sure this is the best move. Sarah’s already wary of her place in the alliance and then Debbie blabs to Aubry that she doesn’t trust Sarah as much as she trusts Aubry. Sarah decides it might be time to make a move, and goes to Zeke, who is always down for making a questionable big move. Meanwhile, Sierra takes Sarah aside, and says that she sees a potential final three with herself, Sarah and Debbie. That’s either a weird final three or a very weird remake of Charlie’s Angels. Sarah isn’t sure what she’ll do, and says she’ll decide a Tribal, where all the best decisions are made! At Tribal Council, Jeff Probst tells the tale of Cirie’s confidence before things actually get underway with the real talk. Andrea knows she could be voted out next, especially since everyone in the six reiterates that they’re not going to break. Michaela says that if someone was to flip, the person going out would be revealed as “Boo Boo the Fool,” which is not a character I remember from Yogi Bear. It’s time to vote, and it’s tied five-five between Andrea and Debbie. But then Sarah flips, because of course she does, and Debbie is sent away. Michaela snacks during the reading of the votes and then claps when Debbie’s name is read. I can understand how this kind of behavior would be annoying on the island, but it’s gosh darn awesome on television. Four for you, Michalea! You can’t possibly win this game so you might as well have fun with it. Debbie can now amend her resume to include “two-time Survivor loser,” which should fit in nicely with gymnast, scientist, former model, acrobat, current model, bellydancer, the ‘Air Force Auxiliary’ and a weekend stint inside one of the costumes at Chuck-e-Cheese even though she wasn’t actually employed there. Smell you later, Debbie!

It was a big week for points, so make sure to click on over to the Leaderboards to see where you stand. The Pool Princess tells me she’s a card carrying member of something called the “Bingo Auxillary,” -but I think that just means she plays bingo at the auxiliary hall- regardless, she’ll put down her stamper long enough to send out the next challenge. Next time on Survivor: Andrea and Sierra working together! Up is down! Cats are dogs! Dogs are cats! See you next week.